INT. A SHOP. A ONE LEGGED PIRATE STANDS BEFORE A RACK OF WOODEN LEGS.
A SHOP ASSISTANT APPROACHES.
ASSISTANT:
Can I help you sir?
PIRATE:
Aye, I be looking for a new stump I do. Nothing fancy mind, Just something that I can walk on and sail in.
THE PIRATE PULLS A WOODEN LEG FROM THE RACK
PIRATE (CONT)
Would you happen to have this here beauty in a size nine?
ASSISTANT:
I'll go and have a look in the back.
THE ASSISTANT WALKS AWAY AND RETURNS WITH TWO BOXES.
ASSISTANT (CONT)
Hi, Ok…Well we haven't got that one in a nine, only a ten, or…I've got this one in a nine.
SHE PRODUCES A WOODEN LEG WITH A LARGE SILVER SKULL AND CROSSBONES DECORATION AND THE WORDS "MEGA PIRATE" EMBLAZONED DOWN THE SIDE.
PIRATE:
I'll be trying the size tens so I will.
ASSISTANT:
Actually these ones do tend to come up a bit smaller.
THE PIRATE PUTS ON THE LEG AND WALKS ABOUT.
PIRATE:
Aye these be ok, I can always wear my thick bandage so I can, aye.
ASSISTANT:
Would you like to wear it now?
PIRATE:
No, best you box it up. I want to keep this one nice.
ASSISTANT:
Ok lovely, just pay at the till when you're ready sir.
PIRATE:
Thank ye.
THE PIRATE GOES TO THE TILL.
CASHIER:
This one is it?
PIRATE:
Aye that it be.
CASHIER:
That'll be pieces of seven ninety nine please sir.
PIRATE:
Ok
THE PIRATE PATS HIMSELF IN SEARCH FOR HIS WALLET.
PIRATE (CONT'D)
Now where is it?
HE NOTICES ONE OF HIS POCKETS HAS A LARGE X ON IT.
PIRATE:
Ah, here it be.
HE PAYS FOR THE STUMP AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
END.
