British Comedy Guide

Becoming a TV presenter Page 2

Good luck to you John, you're no Brad Pitt but at least you have a personality and something to say which is more then can be said for most of the entrants.

Yep, the voting system is rigged / f**ked, you're still on 0% of the vote.

I was going to go into a massive rant about modern Britain, the never ending chase for fame, the superficial hollowness of celeb culture, Jade Goody, body dismorphier, egotism, narcississm, the non-existent standard of attractiveness in Inverness and how even ugly people think they deserve to be on television, but I changed my mind.

In hindsight, you should have put on a Scotch accent and said 'I was born in Inverness, support Caledonian Thistle and work at the airport stopping English people from entering the country. In my spare time I pee single malt, crap shortbreads and enjoy injecting heroin whilst listening to the Proclaimers.' Then you would have been a f**king shoe in.

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