British Comedy Guide

Things I don't understand... Page 3

Quote: Chappers @ 26th February 2021, 10:15 PM

But ultimately - facial tattoos. They really aren't acceptable are they?

I just consider them to be on the bleeding edge of society. When tattoos go out of style they'll be at the front of the shunning line. They probably like it that way.

It never ceases to amaze me the stupidity of some people who go on TV quiz shows.

Q. Which of these animals has a thumb specially adapted to grip its food?

A) Panda B) Leopard C) Rhinoceros

How could you get that wrong?

Last night on a tv quiz some bloke thought the San in San Francisco meant south.

The Iliad. It's all Greek to me.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 25th March 2021, 11:15 AM

The Iliad. It's all Greek to me.

You should try reading the English translation.

It is total shit.

How long will we have this mixture of imperial and metric measurement? It must confuse everyone.

They talk on TV about centimetres, metres and kilos which I don't understand. Then we have pints and mileage. Now we're out of Europe let's get back to imperial measurements.

Oh yes and back to L.s.d.That would really confuse everyone especially those pesky foreigners.

Quote: john tregorran @ 25th May 2021, 10:50 PM

Oh yes and back to L.s.d.That would really confuse everyone especially those pesky foreigners.

Great idea!

You start the march Dave, and I'll carry the flag.

I'd like us to go back to bartering with pigs.

Quote: DaButt @ 26th February 2021, 10:18 PM

I just consider them to be on the bleeding edge of society. When tattoos go out of style they'll be at the front of the shunning line. They probably like it that way.

I once went for a very important job interview. It was a massive pay jump and I was very nervous.
I was shown to a private office where the boss was doing the interviews.

He looked like Lee Marvin and shook my hand with a grip that was too strong. He had an expensive suit on and smelled of cologne
(the whole room did) It did nothing for my confidence.

We sat down and he started straight off with the horrible questions. 'What qualities do you think you can bring to my company?
He put his hands on the desk and leant forward in an intimidating psychological way.

It was then I noticed he had tattoo's on his fingers - very raggedy, obviously self inflicted LOVE and HATE.
He saw me looking at them and said 'ah the consequences of a mis-spent youth.

The tension bubble burst and we actually chatted like mates. Oh, and I got the job.

People who don't understand when I say my ultimate dreamboat is Mel C. Still, cool - less competition for me.
Why people continue to praise New Order for a stance they haven't exhibited since 1985.
Stephen Hawking. His books are shit.
Why people say the Marx Brothers are so funny. I read Das Kapital three times, f**k all. Must be the German sense of humour. They're famous for that.

My lady friend's daughter and her boyfriend in their mid-twenties listen to Radio 4 out of choice!

What is the youth of today coming to?

TIDU: Chappers having a lady friend.

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