Dividing up Europe

Yalta, February 1945

Churchill scribbles on the back of an envelope he finds in his pocket and slides it to over to Stalin.

Churchill : This is how I see it Uncle Joe.

Stalin looks down at the envelope and laughs.

Stalin : Winston? Are you suggesting that we divide Europe based on something scribbled on the back of a envelope?

Churchill : The British Empire has been built on such things Uncle Joe.

Stalin : I can't agree to this. We need another method.

Churchill : Darts. We blindfold ourselves and chuck darts at a map! What could be fairer?

Stalin: I think not. You Englishmen practice darts in your pubs. No you have the advantage. Why don't we have a Kossack dancing competition?

Loud cough from Roosevelt.

Roosevelt: I think that might hamper me somewhat!

Churchill : Hello Franky boy – I thought you had nodded off.

Stalin : A vodka drinking competition? Last one standing wins.

Roosevelt : Are you taking the piss?

Churchill : We could make a giant cake of Europe and we eat each country that we want. If you chuck you lose!

Stalin : Ridiculous.

Roosevelt : Gentleman, there is only one way to settle this.

Scene Two:

The three are sat round a poker table all with sun visors, Churchill is wearing shades.

Roosevelt : So, as dealer I play first. Gentleman this is three card top trumps. I give you Poland – population 24 million.

Good one Bigfella, and most likely what happend.

I've got to say I'm not always a fan of your historical stuff, this feels like reportage more than a sketch. Also it doesn't make enough of the material or characters from such a familiar scenario.

I still think they were unbelievably benevolent to Germany, doing almost the opposite of the Verssae Treaty, with much more reason to be severe this time. It was one of the biggest letoffs in history. France, Poland, Checkoslovakia, even Holland and Belgium surely could have expected a much larger chunk of Germany. That way Germany would never be able to be a military threat again and it would serve as a much better deterent to hostile manouvres than the diasterous (for Britain) creation of the foul and insidious EU, which just used the 2nd WW as the perfect excuse for shoving excessively liberal continentilism and cosmpolitinism down everyones' throats, which has already ruined the once great Britain.

I really like this.
I was going to say change Roosie's second reply about taking the piss but I can't come up with an alternative, so I'll not mention that.
Yep, great sketch.

Thanks for the comments guys, interesting cross section of views.