Armada

Scene 1
August 1588 Tilbury, Essex

She rests in her tent with the Earl of Leicester.

Leicester : Fantastic speech Bess.

Elizabeth : Shut up Robert. I'm still not marrying you.

Leicester : Yes Majesty.

Elizabeth : I hate the waiting you know. Drake is out there now in the Channel, battling this great armada Fighting to save us, sacrificing the lives of his men in the search for victory. English blood dripping into the channel. How I wish I could be there with them. What valour; what glory awaits them.

Scene 2
An English battleship in the channel.

Flags are raised on an opposing Spanish battle ship.

First Officer : F4 Sir Francis.

Drake makes a mark on his parchment

Drake : Bastard has sunk my frigate.

Liked it. I'm not educated enough to get the first joke but I can get what's going on. Having the parchment is a nice detail.

Hmmm...how did I know that a sketch titles 'Armada' was going to be posted by Bigfella?

Battleship Armada - nice one.

What about a series with Georgian Hangman?

Quote: scratchyr @ December 17 2009, 9:53 PM GMT

Liked it. I'm not educated enough to get the first joke but I can get what's going on. Having the parchment is a nice detail.

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Cheers Scratchyr

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 17 2009, 10:19 PM GMT

Hmmm...how did I know that a sketch titles 'Armada' was going to be posted by Bigfella?

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Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 17 2009, 10:19 PM GMT

Battleship Armada - nice one.

What about a series with Georgian Hangman?

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Thanks Dolly

Good suggestion!

As always, a pleasure to read.

Quote: don rushmore @ December 17 2009, 10:28 PM GMT

As always, a pleasure to read.

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Cheers Don

Again, I loved this! Perfectly written

A novel idea Bigfella and the punchline works.

I'm not sure about this bit:

Leicester : Fantastic speech Bess.

Elizabeth : Shut up Robert. I'm still not marrying you.

Leicester : Yes Majesty.

Doesn't have much relevance to the sketch. I think you should cut to Elizabeth's speech a bit quicker. Also, no one will be aware that the Earl of Leicester is actually the Earl of Leicester without reading the script. I assume that the Earl of Leicester's name was Robert from the above snippet, but it's still rather ambiguous.

And how would you show this:

Elizabeth 1 has just given one of the greatest motivational speeches of all time, to rouse her troops waiting for the impending Spanish invasion.

Best just to start with something like:

Int. Royal Tent

Elizabeth rests with an aide.

Unless it's part of something longer of course.

Quote: Jon Pearson @ December 22 2009, 9:56 AM GMT

Again, I loved this! Perfectly written

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Thanks Jon

Quote: Ben @ December 22 2009, 10:49 AM GMT

A novel idea Bigfella and the punchline works.

I'm not sure about this bit:

Leicester : Fantastic speech Bess.

Elizabeth : Shut up Robert. I'm still not marrying you.

Leicester : Yes Majesty.

Doesn't have much relevance to the sketch. I think you should cut to Elizabeth's speech a bit quicker. Also, no one will be aware that the Earl of Leicester is actually the Earl of Leicester without reading the script. I assume that the Earl of Leicester's name was Robert from the above snippet, but it's still rather ambiguous.

And how would you show this:

Elizabeth 1 has just given one of the greatest motivational speeches of all time, to rouse her troops waiting for the impending Spanish invasion.

Best just to start with something like:

Int. Royal Tent

Elizabeth rests with an aide.

Unless it's part of something longer of course.

View original

Thanks for the feedback and good points. I guess I thought the setting the scene bit would be done via subtitle or Voice Over - need to make that clear.

And yes you're right about the first bit, you need to have a complete understanding of the period to get that joke about the marriage. And it isn't relevant to the rest of the sketch either so has to go.

Good stuff, thanks Ben

Is the Earl of Leicester the one was already married to someone? I'm going on my recent viewing of Elizabeth rather than any historical fact.

Quote: Ben @ December 22 2009, 7:46 PM GMT

Is the Earl of Leicester the one was already married to someone? I'm going on my recent viewing of Elizabeth rather than any historical fact.

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He was, then she "died" by falling down the stairs! Big scandal. Everyone thought he murdered her to clear the way.

Leicester, Robert Dudley was Elizabeth's favourite. She moved him into apartments next to hers. Rumor was at the time that she had a child by him that was wisked away.

Some years later, tired of waiting for Elizabeth to marry him, he married the widow of the Earl of Essex, Lettice Knollys. Who was also a redhead. Elizabeth didn't know and went ape shit!

And very true he was married to her at the time of the Armada.

Mr Dudley is one of the characters in the novel I am writing.

Nice build-up and a great punchline. You seem to have a good ear for 'historical' dialogue. Did you have a previous life in the Elizabethan era?