The grumpy executioner and his cheeful aide.2

THE EXECUTIONER HIS ASSISSTANT AND A HOODED MAN STAND ON THE EXECUTION SCAFFOLD.

EXECUTIONER
You will be hanged by the neck...

HOODED
Racist.

EXECUTIONER
I beg your pardon.

HOODED
You said I was well hung, you white guys are obsessed with Black guys shlongs.

ASSISSTANT
He's got a point.

EXECUTIONER
I did not say he was well hung! But he's not even black.

ASSISSTANT
How can you tell? He's wearing overalls and a hood. He might be black you just assumed he was. You think all criminals are black and should be hanged.

EXECUTIONER
I'd have noticed if he was black.

ASSISSTANT
What are you colour blind? He's invisible to you, he's a human being damn it.

HOODED
I've had to live with this all my life. Whitey always trying to keep my people down and all because they're jealous of our fine black cocks.

EXECUTIONER
Right that's ruddy well it his hands aren't covered I'll have a look at them.

EXECUTIONER LOOKS BEHIND HOODED'S BACK.

ASSISSTANT
He's staring at your arse!

HOODED
The white devil. Please when I'm dead keep his pasty fingers off my gorgeous black carcas.

EXECUTIONER
Right that's it I've had enough this'll shut you up.

EXECUTIONER PULLS THE LEVER HOODED DROPS THROUGH THE TRAPDOOR.

ASSISSTANT
You racist.

EXECUTIONER
I am not.

ASSISSTANT
You just killed a black man.

EXECUTIONER
I f**king hate you so much.

ASSISSTANT
Cry the beloved country!

I like this, I love the assistant character.... got a touch of Blackadder about in a roundabout sort of way
Made me lol

This is a gud'un, the characters have a presence without having to actually say an awful lot.

Thanks it tanked when I took it to reading!

I think it's a good idea for a sketch but this one of the 3 felt the most awkward. But glad you liked it I thought there was something in it.

Good soots but it opens on a old 'hung' gag which may not have helped at the reading. I'd cut that part out and start:

EXECUTIONER
You will be hanged by the neck...

HOODED
Racist.

EXECUTIONER
I beg your pardon.

ASSISSTANT
He's got a point.

EXECUTIONER
But he's not even black.

If that makes sense to you?

The rest of it is far better and the conflict around is he / isn't he black is the funny part. Maybe he's the executioner's childhood friend or even a relative and his name is unusual for the black community like Farquar or something better.

It's unclear whether the condemned is actually white or black but you could use that confusion in our minds to get more laughs, maybe his accent flicks between caribbean and Hackney, etc?

You have a great runner in these characters.

These characters have got legs. I don't know why but the last line cracked me up the most.