The grumpy executioner and his cheeful aide.

A MAN (BOB) IS ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED.
THE EXECUTIONER STANDS BY THE LEVER WITH HIS ASSISSTANT.

EXECUTIONER
Any final words before you are put to death?

BOB
No carry on chief. Nice day for it.

EXECUTIONER
I beg your pardon?

BOB
I said nice day for it. Come on and pull the lever if you get a move on you might still beat the traffic on the way home.

ASSISSTANT
That's awfully decent of you.

EXECUTIONER
I'm about to execute you and your worried about my journey home?

BOB
Nah see the ropes going to snap. I'll land on my feet and do a runner.

EXECUTIONER.
No it won't and no you won't!

BOB
Doesn't matter.

EXECUTIONER.
Well the diference between making an improbable escape and dying would seem to be a big one?

BOB
Nope. Once that leaver goes I'll either die instantly or make my improbable escape. Death is only one stop on a journey, the important thing is how you prepare for it.

ASSISSTANT
Wasn't it Carlos Castanedas who said that?

EXECUTIONER
Enough of this.

EXECUTIONER PULLS LEVER BOB DROPS THROUGH TRAPDOOR AND DIES.

ASSISSTANT
What a lovely chap.

EXECUTIONER
I hate you so much.

I like the characters and the way they relate to one another in this, sootyj - it has an element of Monty Python about it.

I would have liked to have seen (read?) more philosophical discussion between the victim and assistant though (much to the exasperation of the executioner!). Perhaps if it was implied that the assistant was new to the job or some sort of stand-in (an annoying student on work experience maybe?). (Not sure what direction that would take the sketch in but it may add something?)

Thanks now I reread it it does feel a bit truncated.

I just like the idea of an improbable cliched pairing up in a dark and dismal job.

I agree that it could do with a push.
I was also wondering if the assistant should have the punchline.
Maybe not but it's worth trying to expand the sketch to get the most out of it as there's a good idea there.

I really like the way this flows.

I was more interested in the relationship between the characters of the executioner and the assistant. You could have that as the running stuff with different victims being the catalyst for a different exchange in a number of sketches.

Sorry for waffling Sootyj.

The original version good grief it's almost 3 years old!