Dinner Date

INT. A RESTAURANT. A BIG GAME HUNTER AND A LIONESS ARE HAVING DINNER.

HUNTER
I'm glad you finally accepted my invitation.

LIONESS
Well you certainly seemed keen so I thought I might as well give it a go.

HUNTER.
You look even more beautiful in this light and without the crosshairs covering your face.

LIONESS
Oh, why thank you.

WAITER
Are you ready to order?

LIONESS
Just the stuffed mushrooms please

HUNTER
You can order what you like.

LIONESS
I don't usually have a main.

HUNTER
Please I insist. My treat.

LIONESS
Oh ok then. I'll have the steak.

WAITER
How would madam like it?

LIONESS
Moving and with fur on please.

WAITER
Very good.

HUNTER
You're not like the other prey...

LIONESS
Please don't call me that. It makes me feel awkward.

HUNTER
Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting. I hope you don't mind, but I bought you a little gift.

HE PRODUCES A WOODEN BOX

LIONESS
A necklace? For me? You shouldn't have.

SHE OPENS THE BOX.

LIONESS (CONT'D)
Why is it in the shape of a plaque?

END.

Liking this a lot. You really do have a unique and inspired voice, to which you are increasingly adding some craft.

On the final line I would suggest, to make it less stark, a slight amendment to "Lovely, but why etc"; though I suppose it depends on how suspicious you want the lioness to sound.

Maybe you could just have the lion put it on and then go "Oh it's lovely! My mother had one just like it." Or something similar anyway. I think you would be better showing the plaque in this one because plaque could be interpreted as a few things.

Nice sketch though.

I enjoyed this one also.
I think I agree with Chris in that I saw the plaque working better as a visual reveal.
I've got you something nice to wear and then bring out the plaque

Thanks for the comments. Agree about the plaque. Do you think I need to change the dialogue or just add some stage directions? If change dialogue maybe a reference to a big game party they will be attending later in the evening?

H:
I bought you something nice to wear, you might like to wear it to the Hunter's Ball?

L:
oh it's lovely

reveal plaque.

What do you think?

I love this very clever, sparse and nice characterisation. Probably to clever to go anywhere, but it's ace.

Mayhap the lioness says the plaque is too revealing? Or the hunter suggests it'll make her look several hundreds of pounds lighter?

Liked it Scratchyr.

As far as the end is concerned maybe it's a reveal of the plaque and then the lioness could say:

LIONESS
Aaah, you've put my name on it, too.

Sootyj, Glad you liked it. Not sure how to feel about it being too clever to go anywhere. Is the world really like that?

Nice Kasm Nice.

This is really good. The difficulty would be in how to film the lioness ... would you envision a costume? If so, that sort of ruins the absurdist feel of the sketch, but it might create some additional material?

Cheers Blobster, I think a costume would work fine, I reckon most people could make the mental leap.