A TERRIFYING "SAW STYLE" BASEMENT.
AROUND A TABLE THE MEETUPERS SIT.
KEV R(WHO IS IN SCHOOL UNIFORM AND ONLY 12)
Well blood this isn't what I was expecting youze is all well old. And frankly Godot I'se tinkin' you be a batty boy.
GODOT(WEARING A PINK CARDIGAN AND KNITTING)
Just because I'm a little bit more polite and sweet natured. We can't be all like our online personas Badge always seemed so avunculular on line.
BADGE(A SKIN HEADED PILE OF TATOOS, MUSCLES SCARS AND APPALLING ATTITUDE)
Avuncular are you calling me a peculiar c**t or something?
GODOT
No Badge, please don't hit me. You've already killed Renegade Carpark.
WE SEE IN A CORNER THE MANGLED REMAINS OF SARA PALIN WHO APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN BEATEN TO DEATH (PERHAPS A MORE PERVERTED DEATH?) WITH A COPY OF "GUNS AND AMMO"
KEV R
Yeah you mentalist Sootyj's was well hopin' to get Impalin with Palin. Where is that clart anyway? Even Bill Will's here.
WE SEE BILL WILL WHO IS INFACT HAL OUT OF 2001 WITH A NICE PANAMA HAT AND A WHITE BEARD UNDER HIS RED EYE.
BILL
Don't worry Dave I have great faith in the success of this meetup.
GODOT
We are a jolly bunch look Steve Sunshine Angie Baby is waking up.
STEVE/ANGIE WAKES UP FROM THEIR DRUNKEN STUPOUR ON THE TABLE. THEY ARE A TERRIFYING SIAMESE TRANSVESTITE ONE HALF ELVIS THE OTHER DITA VON TEESE.
ANGIE
Has the rohypnol worn off already? Did anyone take advantage?
STEVE
It doesn't work if you take it yourself.
ANGIE
Bitch you maybe my siamese incestuos twin lover, but you'll never be man enough for me. Only Godot will do.
GODOT
Crikey this is embarassing. erm erm where's Sootyj?
KEV R
Isn't he in that crate in the corner ya batty man.
GODOT GETS UP PUTTING HIS KNITTING DOWN.
Yes probably just like Scrappy Doo or something.
BADGE
Scrappy you? You asking me for a fight you bastard case?
GODOT QUICKLY RUNS OVER TO THE CASE AND PRISES IT OPEN.
INSIDE IS A GINORMOUS CAGED AND SCROFULOUS PARROT IT SITS IN A CAGE ABOVE A SHIT SPLATTERED LAPTOP.
KEV R
F**k me is that Sootyj?
PARROT
Raawwwkk bollocks,that's racist, Gordon Brown is a c**t.
STEVE
That's our Sootyj!
PARROT SHITS ON LAPTOP EXPLOSIVELY.
ANGIE
And he's just started another thread what a star.
BILLWILL
Daisy Daisy give me your answer true.
I'm half crazy for some crisps from you.
