Don't waste three years at uni studying 'Philosophy and English'.
Just stay at home and think about reading books.
Don't waste money on penis-enlargement products.
Date girls with small hands.
Tip Of The Day Page 2
Quote: Ming the Mirthless @ December 8 2009, 11:10 AM GMTDon't waste three years at uni studying 'Philosophy and English'.
Just stay at home and think about reading books.
Don't waste money on penis-enlargement products.
Date girls with small hands.
Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 8 2009, 11:05 AM GMTWear sunscreen.
That's a good one actually. 
I will add, always floss your teeth.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 8 2009, 11:24 AM GMTThat's a good one actually.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
When your colleague asks you if you wish to swap dinner hours with him have enough courage to explain to him that this is totally inconvenient and that you had had a bowl of Special K only two and a half hours previous.
Don't attempt to make onion soup, as I am about to
Are you juggling fire at the same time?
Life begins at forty?
Try telling that to John Lennon.
There's safety in numbers?
Try telling that to six million Jews.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
(Unless, of course, you're booking tickets to see We Will Rock You, when the time-scale becomes immaterial and the disappointment inevitable.)
Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 8 2009, 11:05 AM GMTWear sunscreen.
Reespect!
Never discuss how cute puppies are with school kids or buxom girls.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 8 2009, 11:24 AM GMTI will add, always floss your teeth.
Always? It's difficult when you're talking or eating.
Quote: Sonofjoe @ December 8 2009, 10:47 AM GMTDon't install a bugler alarm when you've been given the wrong type of ladder.
Do you have one to warn you about buglers? I thought normally you'd hear them.
Can't maintain an erection while bonking the wife?
Imagine she's someone else.
If that doesn't work, imagine you're someone else.
Quote: Ming the Mirthless @ December 8 2009, 10:28 PM GMTCan't maintain an erection while bonking the wife?
Put a bag on your head in case the bag on her head falls off.
My tip of the day: When the meat reeks...WASH!
After cooking you and your friend onion soup from scratch, wash your hands to get rid of the garlic and don't break wind on the bus home from Liverpool, especially when everyone else has got off and there's only one person left. They know it's not them so they know it must have been you for the last half an hour!