British Comedy Guide

A bit of my standup routine about colds and flu

Let me know your thoughts....

I've just got over the mother of all colds; why do people always tell you that you've got a cold. You sneeze maybe 3 times on the trot, "You've got a cold coming"…
It's never a question it's always a statement. Like they are the predictors of viruses, cough twice…. "That's a chest infection that is!"
I was caught having a one night stand once; not using any protection, one of the bastards appeared behind the next bin….. "You've got gonorrhea coming!" I said no her name is……. "Sorry whats your name…."

EDITED TITLE: SlagA

Um, not bad. Not sure it works as it is though? Like, you would need to cum three times for it to relate to the original point.

Quote: Leevil @ December 7 2009, 5:19 PM GMT

Like, you would need to cum three times for it to relate to the original point.

If I came three times I'd forget my own name.

Agree with Leevil, it's not bad at all. But with standup snippets, you lose the context which transforms a string of good jokes into a great routine.

Quote: Leevil @ December 7 2009, 5:19 PM GMT

Um, not bad. Not sure it works as it is though? Like, you would need to cum three times for it to relate to the original point.

I first wrote it like this.........

"She'd only panted twice before one of the bastards appeared behind the next bin….. "You've got gonorrhea coming!" I said no; her name is……. "Sorry whats your name…."

But I thought it was a little wordy......
Maybe on a closer look it does work better like that.

Cheers for the comments, it is part of a larger illness section of my routine (still in development), but I thought the context was all there

I think it would work better if it was ONCE with the sneeze and cough.
I mean, it's happened to me before when I've sneezed once.
Then the punch works better, in my 'umble.

And do you really need the mother of colds prefix? Isn't the idea that people are overreacting to your casual cough or sneeze?
And I'd end the gag with the "You've got gonorrhea coming!" line.

I've noticed in American shows mainly, that the cue for a cold is for someone to sneeze, because obviously no one ever does that in real-life, well not without the aid of pepper anyway.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ December 9 2009, 2:24 PM GMT

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And I'd end the gag with the "You've got gonorrhea coming!" line.

So would you not end it with me asking the girls name? That does seem alittle crude now that I've read it back..... you know how it is in spur of the moment writing!

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