SOOTYJ IS DRIVING HIS MILKFLOAT DRESSED IN A 70S STYLEE AND SMOKING A ROLEE.
SOOTYJ
Cor I haven't been out on my milkfloat in quite some time. I've run out of crap milk related puns and the union won't let me out without one.
SOOTYJ PARKS HIS MILK FLOAT GETS OUT AND TAKES A BOTTLE OF MILK OUT OF IT'S FRIDGE.
SOOTYJ
Can't believe I've got to do this, bloody unions I'm voting Dave Cameron next time.
SOOTYJ STICKS HIS PENIS IN THE BOTTLE OF VERY COLD MILK.
SOOTYJ
Yowzer now I've got a pint of blue top. Cor is that a filmset?
WE NOW SEE THE HOUSE WHERE HE HAS PARKED IS THE SITE OF A VERY EXTENSIVE LOOKING FILM SET.
A MAN (JAMIE APPEARS)
JAMIE
Yes it is I Jamie Botter!
SOOTYJ
Harry Potter? That magic wizard with a talking wizard's sleeve?
JAMIE
No Jamie Botter; I'm a writer, actor, director, producer, second director, dinosaur hunter, editor, rent boy, bent goy...
SOOTYJ
Oh right what are you filming?
JAMIE
The funniest sketch in the world! I aim to use it to bring about world peace and the respect of an obscure comedy forum popular with sofa masturbators.
SOOTYJ
Are you sure it's the worlds funniest sketch?
JAMIE
Yes many friends in the industry say it is, so it must be.
A BURGLAR WALKS OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH JAMIE'S TELLY.
BURGLAR
Yeh it's dead funny. Did Jamie tell you he's an astronaut, ninja, who kills people for the DSS.
JONATHON KING WALKS UP BEHIND JAMIE HE HAS A POT OF LUBRICANT AND NO PANTS.
JONATHON
It's really funny. Jamie can fly and shoot thunderbolts out of his cock, as well as being a comedic genius.
SOOTYJ
If you say so.
MAN WALKS ON SET WITH A LADDER.
MAN
I'm here to rape the giraffe,
SOOTYJ
Wrong sketch mate.
JAMIE
Well I'll be buggered.
JONATHON
Looks that way.
