Roodeye
Saturday 21st November 2009 9:47pm [Edited]
255 posts
Quote: Marc_P_74 @ November 21 2009, 3:58 PM GMT
20/10/09 - "Pub Talk"
F/X
UBLIC HOUSE AMBIENCE
MALE DRINKER: I tell you what; the security at Barlinne Prison has certainly gone downhill. Have you read this story about an inmate who built hisself a shotgun oota tweezers, lead ball bearings and a couple of crushed up match heads?
FEMALE DRINKER:You're joking? Was he not challenged by the screws?
MALE DRINKER:What? A few pozis and a couple of flat-heads wouldn't present a problem.
FEMALE DRINKER:I was talking aboot the guards.
MALE DRINKER
o was I.
END
1) Obviously, you can't make a shotgun from tweezers, lead ball bearings and a couple of crushed up match heads so, if you're going to use absurd components, you need to make them components that either individually or together will get laughs. How about 'shoe polish, some pubic hair and a copy of Razzle'?
2) The two dual meanings in "Was he not challenged by the screws?" is clever in itself but its power to amuse depends upon finding a follow-up line that applies both to screws (for a screwdriver) and screws (as in 'prison officers'). I don't see how 'pozis' applies in any way to prison officers and I've never heard the term 'flat head' applied to a prison officer. Maybe it's a Scottish thing? Or maybe I should get out more?
Quote: Marc_P_74 @ November 21 2009, 3:58 PM GMT
04/11/09 "Cast Iron Luck"
NEWS READER:Amateur metal-detector enthusiast, David Booth, has unearthed a one million pound iron age treasure trove of jewellery in Stirlingshire on his first ever outing. Mr. Booth said he was, "almost stunned" by news of its value, which is a bit like saying, "I was almost having an orgasm"; or "I was almost a tree. But, after careful consideration, I realised I wasn't."
END
The sketch depends upon two things: (1) there being something patently absurd about saying 'I was almost stunned' and (2) the expression's being in common use in news reports of the type used in the sketch.
I don't believe either is the case.
Quote: Marc_P_74 @ November 21 2009, 3:58 PM GMT
18/11/09 "Data Theft Sketch"
F/XHONE RINGING
MAN
PICKS UP)Hello?
SIMON:Hi it's Simon from the Samaritans. Before your T-Mobile contract expires, is there anything you'd like to get off your chest?
MAN:How did you get this number?
MAN HANGS UP IN DISGUST
F/X: PHONE RINGS AGAIN
MANPICKS UP, SIGHS) Yes?
GORDON:Hello, Gordon Brown here. If you promise to vote for me in the next general election I'll give you Fiscal Stimulus.
MAN:I'm calling the police.
END
I'm assuming the sketch is intended to satirize the use of 'private' information (e.g. mobile phone numbers) in cold-call sales techniques. I may be wrong.
In any event, the call from the Samaritans is very funny.
The call from Gordon is also very funny (potentially) but I don't understand why he would be offering the man fiscal stimulus or even what that means in the context of the phone call. Is he offering it to the man as an individual or - and this would make more sense - to Scotland as a whole?
It's not particularly funny if it's a offer to the nation but an offer to enrich each individual would be very funny.
I think " . . . forty acres and a mule" would work well.
