Dental Appointment

Any ideas, thoughts, abuse greatly appreciated.

DENTAL APPOINTMENT

INT. DENTAL SURGERY RECEPTION. DAY

A MAN (EARLY 40's) WALKS IN TO RECEPTION, HE IS HOLDING HIS PUFFY MOUTH AND GOES UP TO THE DESK.

RECEPTIONIST
Hi, do you have an appointment

HE NODS HIS HEAD; SHE TAPS HER KEYBOARD AND LOOKS BACK UP AT HIM.

RECEPTIONIST
Name?

HE POINT TO HIS JAW AND WINCES; GESTURING HE CAN'T SPEAK.

RECEPTIONIST
Oh, ok. So, are you…Matthew Klein?

HE SHAKES HIS HEAD

RECEPTIONIST
You're not Trisha Simpson are you?!

HE SMILES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.

RECEPTIONIST
That means you must be Peter Romney

HE NODS HIS HEAD FORCEFULLY AND POINTS

RECEPTIONIST
Thank God for that. If you take a seat Dr Patel will be with you shortly.

CUT TO: WAITING ROOM – PETER WALKS IN; THERE ARE CHILDREN RUNNING AROUND; HE TAKES A SEAT, STILL CLUTCHING HIS MOUTH; THE CHILDREN ALL STOP ABRUPTLY AND STARE AT HIM.

BOY 1
What's wrong with your face?

PETER MUMBLES AND POINTS TO HIS MOUTH

BOY 2
WHAT?!

THE KIDS START LAUGHING AND TAKING THE MICKEY, MUMBLING TO EACH OTHER; THEIR MOTHERS GESTURE AN APOLOGY; THE DENTIST APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.

DENTIST
Peter Romney?

PETER MUMBLES AND STANDS UP; THE CHILDREN CONTINUE TO MIMIC HIM.

CUT TO: STAIRWAY.

DENTIST
So Peter, how are you doing?

PETER MUMBLES AND POINTS TO HIS MOUTH.

DENTIST
[OVERLY CHEERFUL] Oh sorry, I won't expect too much conversation then!

PETER MUSTERS A CONTORTED SMILE. THEY WALK IN TO THE DENTIST'S ROOM.

DENTIST
If you could lay back on the chair we'll have a little investigate.

PETER LAYS BACK IN TO THE CHAIR; THE NURSE HANDS HIM PROTECTIVE GLASSES AND THE DENTIST POSITIONS HIMSELF OVER PETER.

DENTIST
What seems to be the problem then Peter?

PETER MUMBLES

DENTIST
Oh yes, silly me. Ok, if you could just open your mouth we'll try and find what's been troubling you.

CUT TO: THE DENTIST'S POV – PETER SLOWLY OPENS HIS MOUTH; WE SEE A LITTLE THIN PROJECTION FLOP ON TO HIS LIP; THE DENTIST GRIPS IT AND PULLS IT.

CUT TO: A BEMUSED DENTIST HOLDING A RAT; PETER SITS FORWARD AND LIFTS UP HIS GLASSES.

PETER
Oh, I wondered where he'd got to.

END OF SKETCH

**Corrected Spelling in Title**

Is this a reference to the "rat poison in fake drugs" government ad? If so, I'm not sure it's recognisable enough from the sketch without including a lot of the original. E.g. starts off with him in the kitchen with a puffy mouth like the advert. Overall think it would depend on the tone matching that of the original ad.

Quote: Rob0 @ November 21 2009, 11:10 AM GMT

Is this a reference to the "rat poison in fake drugs" government ad? If so, I'm not sure it's recognisable enough from the sketch without including a lot of the original. E.g. starts off with him in the kitchen with a puffy mouth like the advert. Overall think it would depend on the tone matching that of the original ad.

View original

Rob0, thank you for reading this sketch, titled Dental Appointment. Orignially, this sketch was intended to be a mouse in his mouth and I had left it for a while because I hadn't thought of a sufficiently good ending, unfortunately I still haven't. When I saw the governmental advert with the guy taking the rat out of his mouth I thought 'oh shit that's a bit like that stupid sketch I wrote that I kinda thought had something in it' so I stuck the ending on thinking that the almost topical nature of the sketch would make it a bit better, but judging from the number or replies, or lack thereof, I've had I think I've failed. I had the idea of this being a bit Big Train in style, with soft music in the background and maybe the voices slowed down as everyone speaks to Mr Puffyface. Thank you. Bye bye.

I thought my problem was the line "WE SEE A LITTLE THIN PROJECTION FLOP ON TO HIS LIP;" which I didn't understand.

But now it looks like the joke relies on a reference to a thing I haven't seen.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ November 22 2009, 11:23 PM GMT

I thought my problem was the line "WE SEE A LITTLE THIN PROJECTION FLOP ON TO HIS LIP;" which I didn't understand.

But now it looks like the joke relies on a reference to a thing I haven't seen.

View original

There is a governmental advert where some guy is meant to have been taking prescription drugs he's bought off the internet and he pulls a rat out of his mouth. It's meant to highlight people not knowing what they are taking when they buy drugs off the intranet.

PS. The thin projection that flops on to his mouth is meant to be the rat's tail.

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ_9DOtww9w (a bastardised version of the advert)