Anonymous

INT. DAY. ROOM.

A NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE SAT ON CHAIRS IN A CIRCLE. A MAN STANDS UP:
Hi I'm David and I'm a wanker.

NUMEROUS VOICES OFF CAMERA:
Hi David.. Good to see you.

DAVID:
I started off with, well I suppose you could call it bus wanking, two or three after each other then I had a break for a while. But, it shows the progression of this illness as it wasn't enough. I started going on three day wanking binges. You know, I would have wanked anywhere and did...churches, hospitals, football matches. Solid wanking, every waking hour I was wanking. My life turned into a complete wankfest. But, thanks to this fellowship of wankers I turned it around and that's all I'm going to say for the time being.

NUMEROUS VOICES:
Thanks David.

WOMAN STANDS UP:
Hi I'm Sheila and I'm a wanker.

NUMEROUS VOICES:
Good to see you Sheila.

SHEILA:
My life became totally unmanageable due to wanking. At the height of my wanking when I was wanking myself I tried to wank people with my other hand, complete strangers, anyone close by within wankshot. For the newer wankers here tonight, have a word with Joe, the founder of our group. He hasn't had a wank in twenty years.

CUT TO JOE. HE HAS TWO HOOK HANDS, IS DRINKING WHISKEY THROUGH A STRAW AND HAS A SYRINGE STUCK IN HIS ARM.

There actually is an AA-style Fellowship for sex addicts and, indeed, those addicted to masturbation. I kid you not. (They've certainly got groups in the US for the wankers, mainly just the sex addicts anon over here.)

Oh, on a general point about AA-type sketches, when people say "My name is Tim and I'm an alcoholic" (for example), they don't have to stand up. In fact, I don't think there's a single AA meeting in this country where people stand up to announce it. (Nor for cocaine addicts, wanking addicts, friends of wanking addicts etc.)

It's not a personal criticism of this sketch, just that usually every time AA sketches are done on TV they follow this erroneous cliché.

Oh, and very good sketch, btw, Nigel. Love the visual punchline.

Good job Nigel. Yes, we do have masturbation addiction groups, as well as groups for mutual masturbation. We don't discriminate.

Quote: AndreaLynne @ November 20 2009, 2:40 AM GMT

Good job Nigel. Yes, we do have masturbation addiction groups, as well as groups for mutual masturbation. We don't discriminate.

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There's something like nearly 1000 different "Anonymous" fellowships in the US. It's a mad, mad world!

The mutual masturbation group sounds way too much fun.

There was a documentary on the subject ( I use the term documentary loosely) and from the looks of it the participants are desperate looking dumpy people.

Quote: AndreaLynne @ November 20 2009, 2:40 AM GMT

Yes, we do have masturbation addiction groups, as well as groups for mutual masturbation.

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Pull the other one!

Nigel, on the sketch itself: I love the ending but I think the journey there could be a bit neater.

Sounds like a rather intimate form of a lucky dip in that group then.

Quote: Badge @ November 20 2009, 2:46 AM GMT

Pull the other one!

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