British Comedy Guide

Jumper (a sketch) Page 6

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ November 20 2009, 9:33 AM GMT

that's from someone you called a c**t.

With the benefit of hindsight, I'd like to re-arrange some of the words in that amusing little ditty.

;)

If it's a runner (as well as jumper and standing-still), how about:

Distressed woman on edge; crowds of office workers at windows.

She jumps; No reaction from office workers whose gaze is unvarying.

Pan to reveal they were watching The Beatles on the Apple Corps Roof.

Just a thought; I don't really write sketches. :)

I was tempted by Badge to pin this re: the debate about what makes a good sketch saleable or not. But it veered off somewhat. Which is a shame.

Have to agree with Paul W's and DD's posts. Although I would also add that Roodeye needs to stop referring to the 'T' word, unless it's in a PM to a mod.

Let's keep the debate on track. In all Crit threads. :)

Quote: JohnnyD @ November 20 2009, 10:08 AM GMT

If it's a runner (as well as jumper and standing-still), how about:

Distressed woman on edge; crowds of office workers at windows.

She jumps; No reaction from office workers whose gaze is unvarying.

Pan to reveal they were watching The Beatles on the Apple Corps Roof.

Just a thought; I don't really write sketches. :)

I like that one - especially if she splats right behind the crowd.

You know why? Because it's a little masterpiece that not every viewer will get.

A tortured soul that nobody loved, talked to, wanted to be with or even noticed in life.

And so it was in death.

And do you know what? All over Britain, a few people here and there will realise the above while they're laughing.

And some of them will stop laughing and think.

And when they do that, you've joined the ranks of the greatest comedy writers in the world.

Nana dying in the Royle Family? My arse! That's writing with a yard brush!

The very best writing is done with a much finer nib. ;)

I wish I'd never mentioned the people in the window now.
Huh?

Quote: Mannikin Bird @ November 20 2009, 9:00 PM GMT

I wish I'd never mentioned the people in the window now.
Huh?

Laughing out loud Someone would have, Mannikin.

Quote: Mannikin Bird @ November 20 2009, 9:00 PM GMT

I wish I'd never mentioned the people in the window now.
Huh?

At least no-one mentioned that for a quick sketch like this to work visually, you don't really even need the "crowd" down below watching, that the gag would work just with the two coppers (plus saving money). Thank God no-one pointed that out.

I think the sketch is very funny and does not need altering. But I think that judging from his/her replies, on here and elsewhere on this site, that he/she is feeing very left out (especially by the BBC) and beneath the somewhat aggressive exterior there lies a very lonely sad person who is crying out for help - albeit, sometimes in an aggressive manner.

Quote: Roodeye @ November 18 2009, 9:29 PM GMT

A CROWD STANDS ON THE STREET BELOW, EVERYONE IS LOOKING UP AT THE BUILDING

Would now be a bad time to point out the poor comma use in this sentence?

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 20 2009, 9:21 PM GMT

At least no-one mentioned that for a quick sketch like this to work visually, you don't really even need the "crowd" down below watching, that the gag would work just with the two coppers (plus saving money). Thank God no-one pointed that out.

I think you'll I myself pointed all that out - and more.

Quote: Roodeye @ November 18 2009, 10:09 PM GMT

The sketch would work without (the people in the window) but it would also work without the crowd in the street.

It would also work with only one policeman.

In fact, the person with the loud hailer doesn't have to be a man or a police officer and there's no real need for a loud hailer.

Quote: Terry-K @ November 20 2009, 9:22 PM GMT

I think the sketch is very funny and does not need altering. But I think that judging from his/her replies, on here and elsewhere on this site, that he/she is feeing very left out (especially by the BBC) and beneath the somewhat aggressive exterior there lies a very lonely sad person who is crying out for help - albeit, sometimes in an aggressive manner.

All you need to have said is, 'I think the sketch is very funny and does not need altering.'

Quote: Morrace @ November 20 2009, 9:40 PM GMT

All you need to have said is, 'I think the sketch is very funny and does not need altering.'

Morrace being the voice for tact and brevity! :D ;)

Quote: Terry-K @ November 20 2009, 9:22 PM GMT

I think the sketch is very funny and does not need altering. But I think that judging from his/her replies, on here and elsewhere on this site, that he/she is feeing very left out (especially by the BBC) and beneath the somewhat aggressive exterior there lies a very lonely sad person who is crying out for help - albeit, sometimes in an aggressive manner.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud You obviously don't know Rood Laughing out loud

Terry-K's rather bold, isn't he?

Especially for someone who apparently joined BCG only 4 days ago. :D :D :D

Can I just say this is my first post. Wave

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