What Have You Ever Won? Page 5

Quote: DaButt @ November 17 2009, 2:05 PM GMT

Everything but the Stratosphere sounds like fun. Bad/dodgy location.

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Obviously not like the rest, but didn't seem all that bad when I was there.

I have won various crappy bits and pieces. Books, probably a DVD or two. Shaving set. Other things I can't remember.

My Dad won a holiday to New York some time in the early 80s though: out on Concorde, few nights in a top hotel, back on the QEII.

I'd like to win a new face. Where do they run those competitions?

BCG gives out prizes??!

Not at the minute, I don't think? But they used to, never won anything though

Still, you could probably go and exchange it somewhere if you win?

I entered my first ever BCG competition yesterday. Can't for the life of me remember what the prize was though.

Quote: Griff @ November 17 2009, 6:02 PM GMT

Philistine.

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One's got to have some sort of hobby.

*chuckles to self remembering some old Eddie Izzard material about St Paul's letters to the Philistines*

Hah! I remember that!

Never won much.. until today that is !

This nice man has written to me

ATM INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATION
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY

ATTENTION HONORABLE BENEFICIARY

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY NOTIFY YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT
INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT
IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT
OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY, WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE
OFFICIALS IN THE BANK,ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND
TO YOU.WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO
STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A
SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH
OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION
FROM MR. PRESIDENT,UMARU MUSA YAR'ADUA (GCFR) PRESIDENT FEDERAL REPUBLIC
OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW
YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD,BUT THE MAXIMUM IS
ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR
FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND
ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO HIM IN ORDER TO PROCEED
IMMEDIATELY:

1. FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND
THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE)
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION

HOWEVER, KINDLY FIND BELOW THE CONTACT PERSON:
MR. MOSES COSMAS
DIRECTOR, ATM PAYMENT
DEPARTMENT
EMAIL:

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT
($8,300,000.00) AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009. ALSO FOR YOUR
INFORMATION, YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER
PERSON(S)OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR ATM PAYMENT.
FOR ORAL DISCUSSION, I CAN BE REACHED ON OR EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU
RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON
ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE.

HAVE IN MIND THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF
CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-143) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE
CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

BEST REGARDS,

DR. MANSUR AHMED
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

See that? Chief Auditor to the President of Nigeria no less! Not some tinpot little country.

Now . .

Dear Dr Ahmed,

I am in receipt of yours of the 17th inst . . .

I'll have me tea first and finish it later.

I'd like to think that somewhere out there is a genuine senior African diplomat desperately trying to hand out millions of US dollars to randomly picked "lottery" winners - who's scratching his head as to why no-one ever responds to his polite emails.

One of my favourite tales, which is probably a urban myth, concerns a man who did reply and lost a considerable sum.

He was contacted some months later by a Nigerian 'firm of solicitors' who said that they had lots of evidence against the people who scammed him and were getting most of the money back for a number of people. If he would like them to add his case to the portfolio would he please send a fee advance of £5000.

I'll leave you to fill in the rest of the story !

Oh dear.

This is still the funniest thing I have ever read: http://www.419eater.com/html/bigman.htm

Dan

I'm trying to read it but the tears of laughter are getting in the way !!!

'm generally quite lucky. Maybe its because I was born the 9th of the 9th? However, I was in a pub a couple of years ago and they had a raffle for a holiday to Thailand and they called out my number, unfortunately I was in the loo helping a friend who was being sick. You can imagine how upset I was when I found out they drew another ticket and I'd lost out, not so lucky that day.