Country Life

FX: DOORBELL. DOOR OPENING.

MAN: Mrs. Prendegast.

MRS. PRENDEGAST: I'm terribly sorry but I was wondering if you would mind sponsoring me?

MAN: Of course not.

MRS. PRENDEGAST: It's a sponsored dogathon. For Children In Need.

MAN: I'm sorry?

MRS. PRENDEGAST: You simply promise to pay so much for each man I succeed in sexually satisfying.

MAN: Um, I see... A pound okay?

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Oh, that is ever so generous.

MAN: Really?! How many men do you think...?

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Well, I plan to keep going as long as the light holds. The boy scout troop are helping out. For their Community Challenge badge. Why don't you come along?

MAN: I'm not sure...

MRS. PRENDEGAST: There are lots of other events. The schoolmistress, young Mrs. Arbutnot, is selling kisses for 50p.

MAN: Oh. That's quite sweet.

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Of course she asks a little more for rimming, but it is all in a good cause. And then there are donkey rides for the kids, and a donkey show for their dads; and 'guess the weight of the vicar's bowel movement'...

MAN: Good lord.

WIFE: (OFF) Who's at the door dear?

MAN: Ah dear - You know Mrs. Prendegast?

WIFE: Of course. Oh, hang on a tick. Ah, here it is - the rabbit vibrator I promised you...

MAN: What the...?

WIFE: ...for the white elephant stall.

FX: VIBRATING.

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Oh, that is a beauty. Are you sure?

WIFE: Well, I don't really have a use for it, now that I am on the ladies croquet team.

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Ah, good healthy sport. Have the gels made you welcome?

WIFE: With open legs. I'm lapping it up.

MAN: Sandra!

MRS PRENDEGAST: And those spells and potions I gave you - have they helped with...?

WIFE: I'm afraid not. It's still limp, isn't it dear?

MAN: Sarn!

MRS. PRENDEGAST: Perhaps it's for the best. Well I must get on. My hubby will be wanting his tea, so I'd best get home and untie him. Bye

WIFE: Bye. People are so much more open and friendly in the country.

MAN: Aren't they?! By the way, darling, I have been meaning to ask - why are you building a sixty foot straw man in the back garden?

WIFE: Silly - it's a surprise! (KISS)

END.

Enjoyed this Timbo. Although I think the punch was a bit lost on me.

A reference to the film The Wicker Man. Not sure it works as an ending.

Nice sketch, good contrast between the WI and extreme sexual pursuits. I got The Wicker Man ending, it was ok I thought but overall good sketch.

Quote: Timbo @ November 14 2009, 1:29 PM GMT

A reference to the film The Wicker Man. Not sure it works as an ending.

View original

The ending's fine, Timbo as long as one is familiar with 'The Wicker Man'.

Nice lead-up too!

Cheers guys. I have made a few tweaks, including changing 'WI' to something more topical...

Somehow I cannot see myself finding a market for this one.

Nice sketch, Timbo. Though, personally, I'm not sure about the ending as there's nothing else about the sketch which necessarily shouts paganism - more a general sense of debauchery really!

What might be quite funny, if you were to make it more a Wicker Man/paganism based sketch, is if Mrs Prendegast kept making the odd insinuation that the man would be the sacrifice. And then when she leaves and he is standing there looking a tad bewildered by the conversation they'd just had...

MAN: What was that all about?

WIFE: Oh, I'm sure it was nothing, dear. Have you remembered to feed the chickens?

MAN: Oh, no... I'll go and do it now.

CUT TO HIM CLIMBING A WICKER MAN FULL OF ANIMALS WITH A BUCKET OF CHICKEN FEED UNDER HIS ARM.

I enjoyed this sketch very much. The wickerman was a much acclaimed film and I for one would have no qualms in seeing it included in a sketch.
I have written a sketch myself which I hope to showcase in critique and would hope for you to read mine as a return favour.

Cheers. Jim - you're right, the ending does feel a bit tacked on. I have tweaked again to set it up a little. Thanks for the feedback.

Dunno about the ending, it almost didn't matter - the run-up made me laugh out loud! EGGSELENT.