Honest Football Manager part two

Hey all - tried writing a second sketch around my honest football manager character.

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SKY SPORTS REPORTER WITH PREMIER LEAGUE MANAGER IN THE TUNNEL AFTER A MATCH

REPORTER: Steve, it's your team's fourth straight home defeat. Is your job now under threat?

STEVE: Yes it is. I think you could describe my current position as rather precarious!

REPORTER: What do you think has been the main reason for your team's lack of form this season?

STEVE: I think I've made some crap signings in the summer and somewhat lost the plot tactically. I'm also nursing a rather nasty drink problem.

REPORTER: What do you think is needed to turn the situation around?

STEVE: I have no idea - I'm pretty much out of ideas! What I'll probably do is sign a couple of hopeless loan players or stick a tall youth team player up front and hope for the best.

REPORTER: One newspaper says you could be sacked if you don't win Monday's cup game. Have you been told that?

STEVE: No but it wouldn't surprise me knowing this chairman. He's something of a tosser.

REPORTER: Well thanks for talking Steve and good luck.

STEVE: Thanks - I'll need it. Fancy getting pissed?

End

This is okay in essence but you're seriously reducing the manager's honesty (and thus the sketch's effectiveness) by having him water down his dialogue by using words and phrases like 'I think', 'rather', 'some', 'somewhat', 'pretty much' and 'something of a' instead of just telling it like it is.

All those qualifying and modifying expressions need deleting but, more than that, you need to emphasise all the things you were previously watering down.

e.g.

STEVE: I think I've made some crap signings in the summer and somewhat lost the plot tactically. I'm also nursing a rather nasty drink problem.

could be changed to:

STEVE: I've made crap signings, completely lost the plot tactically and I'm the biggest piss artist in the British game.

Another good sketch, SS. (Unfortunate abbreviation there!)

I disagree with the idea that you've somehow compromised the manager's sense of honesty with his slightly less abrasive discourse; the only trouble is, as hinted at by Roodeye, is that it doesn't quite match up with the character from the first sketch who's talking about "total shit holes" and "rapists"! So I think you just need to decide whether the manager has a hint of menace about him, or has a more amiable, matter-of-fact sort of demeanour, as in this sketch. I think it would work perfectly well either way to be honest.

The 'tall youth team player' line me chuckle. Been there, seen that... unfortunately!

Rodeye and Jim both speak sense