Tears of a clown...help wanted please. Page 5

Hi Ruby

I've had my own Mental Health issues as the majorty of you are aware. You don't get to 43 stone without them.

Back in the days when I was just "a bit" overweight. - I turned myself into class joker in order to impress the ladies.

The when I became "a bit" fat - I turned myself into the typical big jolly fat man.

Then when I became "very" fat I also became very depressed, which turned into a big cycle of self lothing, eating to comfort myself etc - as I could do very little else, I decided to start writing in order to express myself. It was great, because behind a script or piece of writing you can be whoever you want to be and aren't judged by first impressions.

In short trying to be funny was one of my ways of compenstating for my physical "weakness" which were the result of my mental health problems.

I noticed your questions Dolly and Kenneth, I'll shall attempt to explain!

Dolly - I'm answering you first because it's easier. People with BDD become obsessive with their percieved flaws. They might actually have a small flaw but what the illness does making it a hell of a lot different to low confidence is make that flaw a lot bigger and more frightening than it actually is and creates obsessive behavour in order to ether hide the flaw or correct it. This is when it can get very dangerous.

Kenneth - BDD varies from person to person. A lot of cases do develop other conditions that are linked to their condition such as socialphobia. I have myself found an inabilty to leave the house in the past and very large crowds can freak me out. I also as most suffers do, have a compulsive issue with mirror checking or walking past reflective surfaces, obessive cleaning and grooming, and many issues with having my photo taken! As I have had a lot of treatment I am in a much better position than some cases but I do still get the odd dark day when it smacks me in the face. However, it's something I deal with when it comes.

Back on topic, this is all getting interesting! Here is a question to those who have mentioned they felt their own issues has affected their humour that I am going to throw into the mix.

If you had the ability to go back in time and remove whatever it was - depression, alcholism, etc - that has affected you and your life, would you do it? If so, do you think it would affect your humour in any way?

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ November 9 2009, 3:07 PM GMT

If you had the ability to go back in time and remove whatever it was - depression, alcholism, etc - that has affected you and your life, would you do it? If so, do you think it would affect your humour in any way?

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Yes in a second, and I'd hope it would affect.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ November 9 2009, 3:07 PM GMT

If you had the ability to go back in time and remove whatever it was - depression, alcholism, etc - that has affected you and your life, would you do it? If so, do you think it would affect your humour in any way?

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Yeah, feel like I wasted a lot of my supposed "best" years (15 to now, almost 21) feeling shit. I'm not sure it would have a massive effect, or if I'd want it to. I quite like having an almost morally disturbing sense of humour.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ November 9 2009, 3:07 PM GMT

If you had the ability to go back in time and remove whatever it was - depression, alcholism, etc - that has affected you and your life, would you do it? If so, do you think it would affect your humour in any way?

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If we could do that Roo, this Forum would be empty as we'd all have contented and happy lives...and how boring is that?

Great comedy comes from a very dark place, which is why, as miserable Brits, we can come up with great stuff. Look at the contented Europeans with their matching ski jackets and bicycles - they're not funny, they're rubbish.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 9 2009, 3:49 PM GMT

Great comedy comes from a very dark place...

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You mean like the clown I have bound and gagged down my well?

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ November 9 2009, 3:07 PM GMT

If you had the ability to go back in time and remove whatever it was - depression, alcholism, etc - that has affected you and your life, would you do it? If so, do you think it would affect your humour in any way?

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Yep, I would. For the benefits (not just to myself, but others) I'd take the chance that it might destroy my comedy genius...

I'm definitely not the happiest of people, between my self-esteem issues, ridiculous stress levels because of work, and trichotillomania; and I quite frankly have spent a lot of time feeling really awful about all of it and about myself. Despite this, I don't think I'm a particularly funny person at all. I've been told recently that I am, and just get completely bemused by it. Though I am liable to rebuff any compliments, I am even more sure that I am not funny than I am sure I'm not pretty, clever, etc. (if that's possible) - and that's completely not fishing for compliments, which I really worry people think it is.

My brother, on the other hand, is absolutely hilarious, and despite the odd girl problem, he seems completely fine with himself. Not getting work done doesn't bother him and he has a lot of friends while not being afraid to be who he wants to be. I do sometimes worry he's hiding deeper issues, but he tells me most things, and so I don't think it's a concern really.

I'm not sure. My mum is one of the funniest/wittiest people I know and she is also probably the happiest. Likewise I don't suffer from mental health problems and consider myself a 'happy' person but I love comedy, and on occasion have been known to be funny. Only on occasion mind.

I think to be good at comedy you have to be clever and you have to be able to look at the world in a certain way. Being able to view the world in this way can be painful as it's not an easy world to live in - so I can see why people who are funny could also have mental health problems. I also think it can be used as a coping mechanism when things go wrong or are difficult. In a 'if you don't laugh you will cry' type way. If something upsets me, I either find the nearest person to make a joke about it with, or I cry. Sometimes you just need a release, and laughter is a great release.

Overall I wouldn't say my sense of humour has come from anything in particular that has happened in my life though - I think I got it from my mum's side of the family. (Cheers Mum)

I don't know if this any of this is useful for you Roo, but thought I would chip in my two pence, Best of luck with the article

Hello Ruby - too much to read here after your initial post.

I do think though - and if someone else has mentined this I apologise - but true geniuses (geniii?) probably have this as a counter balance. Spike for instance was an incredibly funny bloke with a brilliant sense of humour - but the manic-depression possibly counterbalanced this somehow.

Does that make sense? Probably not!

Quote: Chappers @ November 9 2009, 9:32 PM GMT

Hello Ruby - too much to read here after your initial post.

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And that's the problem with the youth of today. Teddy Boys like Chappers want instant gratification and can't be asked to commit to the hard work of reading posts. Makes ya sick - no wonder the black market for spam and nylons is out of control.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 9 2009, 9:35 PM GMT

Makes ya sick - no wonder the black market for spam and nylons is out of control.

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Have you got any? my current ones are laddered.

Quote: Chappers @ November 9 2009, 9:41 PM GMT

Have you got any? my current ones are laddered.

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It's a bugger when that happens to a tin of Spam.

Quote: Timbo @ November 9 2009, 9:43 PM GMT

It's a bugger when that happens to a tin of Spam.

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The key is in the nylons.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ November 9 2009, 3:07 PM GMT

BDD varies from person to person. A lot of cases do develop other conditions that are linked to their condition such as socialphobia. I have myself found an inabilty to leave the house in the past and very large crowds can freak me out.

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So the character played by Ben Chaplin in Series 1 of Game On might have had BDD? Or perhaps he was just agoraphobic. There's a nice line in Blur's song Parklife - "I think about leaving the house" - which must have added meaning for agoraphobes.