Quote: The Giggle-o @ November 6 2009, 7:30 PM GMTThere are some very funny ones there. Do you do anything with them other than put them up on Twitter?
I'm starting to use a lot of them in my stand up and some of them I've tried to integrate into sketches.
Did try selling some to Messers Vine and Jones but both write most of their own stuff.
Good stuff Tony, hopefully we'll see you doing them on TV yourself in the future.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ November 6 2009, 8:45 PM GMTI'm starting to use a lot of them in my stand up and some of them I've tried to integrate into sketches.
Did try selling some to Messers Vine and Jones but both write most of their own stuff.
Could you please film a sketch of the coffee enema gag?
Quote: The Giggle-o @ November 6 2009, 8:49 PM GMTCould you please film a sketch of the coffee enema gag?
It would make a good pull back and reveal. 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ November 6 2009, 9:11 PM GMTIt would make a good pull back and reveal.
Funny Stuff Tony.
I enjoyed reading them.
Loved them all, especially numbers 8, 12, 14, 18 and 24.
Really good. I liked most of them - of course a lot are puns, but they're clever puns. I particularly liked the theme of being banned from an ever-growing list of places. Nice to intersperse them through your act, and it might explain why you've ended up in front of your audience as a comedian instead of having a normal job - if that makes sense.
Hey Tony,
really enjoyed these, I'm very impressed, and jealous!
Keep 'em comin'!
I liked almost all but thought these were excellent:
Quote: Tony Cowards @ November 6 2009, 5:41 PM GMT1.Gave myself a coffee enema this morning, perked me up but I got thrown out of Starbucks.
3.After my shower I sprayed on some lynx, I'm now banned from the zoo.
7.Yesterday played French cricket, which is like normal cricket but with tongues.*
14.Was at an orgy and a man came all over my moobs, had to get that off my chest.
19.Ironically the book I got out of the library called "Dealing with Back Pain" has a damaged spine.
23.Apparently to be a great comedian you need a USP, so after the gig I'm off to "PC World" to pick up a cable.
24.Went for a pizza & the first bloke in the queue fell over which started a chain reaction of people falling over,bloody Dominos
30.My girlfriend & I like to dress up as Adrian Balboa & Apollo Creed, think we're going through a Rocky patch.
31.My porn movie shot in the forest was a disaster, you couldn't see the wood for the trees.
44.I was asked my sexual orientation the other day, I said "usually facing my computer monitor".
*I hope this one's as filthy as I'm imagining...
Summary: you're one funny bastard.
Some of these are absolutely inspired. A few genuine lols (6, 8, 9, 14, 24, 30 and 42), but they're all of an exceptionally high standard.
Nice work Tony, good stuff.
Thanks for all the lovely feedback, it seems that most of them have got some merit, a couple probably need tidying up a little more.
If anyone's interested I'll be trying out as many of these as I can remember, mixed in with more tried and trusted stuff, at EdComedy tonight in Forest Hill (at the Hob Pub).