Roodeye
Friday 20th November 2009 12:54am [Edited]
255 posts
Scene: The Royle bathroom. Int. Night.
DENISE AND NANA ARE SPRAWLED ON THE FLOOR, WHICH IS SOAKING WET.
JIM AND TWIGGY ARE SCRAPING WALLPAPER AND DISPLAYING MUCH BUILDER'S BUM AS THEY WIGGLE TO THE SOUND OF POP MUSIC BLARING FROM A RADIO
JIM (TO DENISE):
Are you sure it wasn't just a great big piss, love?
DENISE (IN PAIN):
It's the baby, Dad.
NANA (SEMI-CONSCIOUS):
To be quite honest with you, a lot of it is piss. I couldn't help it. I'm dying, you know.
JIM (TO DENISE AND NANA):
Yeah? Well whatever it is, make sure you don't slip in it when one of you goes downstairs to make us a brew. Me and Twiggy are parched here.
DENISE (IN PAIN):
I'm about to give birth, Dad!
NANA (SEMI-CONSCIOUS):
I'm dying. Sheila? Sheila!
(JIM AND TWIGGY EXCHANGE A GLANCE AS JIM SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SUCKS AIR ANGRILY THOUGH HIS TEETH)
(GRAMS: OASIS 'HALF THE WORLD AWAY')
(FADE TO BLACK)