Have re-wroked this theme and gone for a phone call instead of a letter, see post below
Letter from the bank
I like this. It takes a recognisable situation and pursues it to its logical conclusion, with some decent chuckles along the way.
Do you think it could be re-written for radio? Maybe in the form of an pre-recorded interactive telephone thingy?
Re-worked as a phone call instead of a letter
CALLER
Hello, I just wanted to find out my current account balance please
BANK:
Your current account balance is £5.00 sir. As a matter of courtesy, We would also like to make you aware that we will now be charging £30 for every letter issued to you regarding your account. If we have to write three times regarding the same issue, a further £25 will be charged. If we find ourselves contacting you five times about the same issue, a further £100 will be charged.
A letter has gone out to confirm this and as per our new terms and conditions, you have been charged £30.00
CALLER:
But...
BANK:
Your account balance is now £-25.00. Unfortunately, as you only had £5 in your account, this has meant that you have gone overdrawn, so we have charged you £15, for the unauthorised overdraft. A letter has gone out to confirm this.
CALLER:
You can't do that
BANK:
and we have charged a further £30 for the letter that has gone out confirming the unauthorised overdraft. Your current account Balance is £-70.00 sir.
CALLER:
Unbelievable!
BANK:
Unfortunately, I have to advise you sir that as you are now over £50 overdrawn, we have had to close your account, a charge of £25 has been applied to your account to account for the administration costs. A letter has gone out to confirm this
CALLER:
You've closed my account?
BANK:
Indeed, and we have have charged a further £30 for the letter confirming the account closure. Your account balance is £-125.00
CALLER:
So I'm over £100 in debt to you now?
BANK:
That's right sir, but as you are now over £100 in debt to us, we are pleased to announce that you qualify for a loan at our new introductary rate of 25% APR.
CALLER:
Ok, Great
BANK:
A letter has gone out to confirm this. We have of course had to charge you a further £30 for the letter confirming your qualification for a loan. As this is the third letter we have had to send you, you have been charged a further £25. Your account balance is now £-180.00
CALLER:
One hundred and Eighty Pounds!
BANK:
But never fear sir, as you are now over £150 in debt to us, you qualify for our new Credit Card at our new introductary rate of 59% APR. A letter has gone out to confirm this
CALLER:
Well, I could do with a credit card
BANK:
Of course that will be a £30 charge for the letter confirming your qualification for a credit card, your current account balance is now £-210.00
CALLER:
Well, just put that on the credit card balance then
BANK:
I would love to sir, unfortunately however, you are now over £200 in debt to us and we have had to send out bailiff's. A £410 charge has been applied to your account for the costs. A letter has gone out to confirm this
CALLER:
Another letter!
BANK:
Unfortunately so, e have had to charge a £30 for the letter confirming the costs of Bailiff's and as this is the fifth letter we have had to send you, you have been charged a further £100. Your account balance is now £-750
CALLER:
What am I going to do?
Don't worry sir, due to the financial tightrope we continue to walk in the banking industry, this debt has crippled us, the government have failed to bail us out and we are no longer in business
A letter has gone out to confirm this
I endorse this product or event.
This would be funny if it weren't true !
No seriously, I agree with Kevin ref the radio and your rewrite works a treat. Very good. 
Great stuff - just needs cutting down a little bit.
Quote: R.J. @ November 4 2009, 7:16 PM GMTGreat stuff - just needs cutting down a little bit.
Probably cut it down a bit too much
CALLER
Hello, I just wanted to find out my current account balance please
BANK:
Your account balance is £-750
Nice, but I would keep the bank side of the conversation completely impersonal - lose unnecessary lines like "But never fear, sir" or "I would. love to, sir".