Odd Cop

A DETECTIVE COMES OUT OF A QUESTIONING ROOM, WITH HIS ARMS RAISED BY HIS SIDES; HE WALKS OVER TO ANOTHER DETECTIVE STOOD AGAINST A FILING CABINET.

DETECTIVE 1
I just can't crack 'im. I've used every trick I know. Good cop then bad cop, medium cop then loud cop; he didn't even fall for ultra soft cop.

ANOTHER DETECTIVE, DRESSED SMARTLY, SIDLES UP NEXT TO THEM; HE HAS A BIG, PINK MUG FOR A HEAD.

DETECTIVE 2
[HUSHLY] Can't crack 'im you say?

DETECTIVE 1
Nah. I don't think 'e did it, well, he definitely 'asn't slipped up with me.

DETECTIVE 2 SHAKES HIS HEAD DOUBTINGLY.

DETECTIVE 2
Come on, we know he did it. Let me at 'im. I'll get 'im spilling beans in no time.

DETECTIVE 1
Alright, he's in the questioning room right now. But if I'm honest with you, I really don't think 'e did it.

DETECTIVE 2
Well, let a dog see a rabbit. [HE WALKS CONFIDENTLY TO THE QUESTIONING ROOM DOOR]

CUT TO: INT. QUESTIONING ROOM. DETECTIVE 2 IS STOOD OVER THE ACCUSED.

DETECTIVE 2
Who took the gun then, If you didn't?

ACCUSED
I don't know, but what I do know is I couldn't've taken it cos I was back in my flat cooking.

DETECTIVE 2
Yer, what? cooking up drugs?!

ACCUSED
No, It was one of them Nigella recipes, pork summint.

DETECTIVE 2
Ho, Ho, bloody ho, that sounds believable. If you were at home who took the gun and shot Charlie 'big nuts' McGee then?

ACCUSED
Like I've said a thousand times I don't bloody know!

DETECTIVE 2
Look! I know you know, you know I know and we both know everyone knows that you took the gun and shot Charlie 'Big Nuts' McGee, dead! [ACCUSED SITS SHAKING HIS HEAD] If you admit to it we could go easy on you, maybe get your sentence down to 15 years with good behaviour.

THE ACCUSED MOVES HIS FACE NEARER TO THE DETECTIVE'S.

ACCUSED
I wasn't there, I didn't take the gun and I don't know who did it.

DETECTIVE 2
I'm getting seriously pissed off with you now…I'll just sit here as long as it takes for you to own up to what you did.

ACCUSED
Yeah and I'm getting seriously pissed off with you going on and on and on when I…didn't…kill…McGee!

DETECTIVE SHOOTS UP TO HIS FEET, PUSHES HIS CHAIR BACK AND HUNCHES FORWARD WITH HIS FACE IN THE ACCUSED.

DETECTIVE 2
Do I look like a mug?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MUG?!

END SKETCH

Anybody? No? Anybody? No?

Surreal characters can work very well in comedy sketches, especially when played by well-loved celebrities.

This sketch has only only surreal character and, because we see he has a mug for a head, the sketch's punchine (which is some time in coming) may be thought to be a little predictable. The fact that the punchline is the sketch's only joke only serves to emphasise any disappointment the audience might feel.

I think this sketch would a little better in a world where all the characters were items of crockery or kitchen utensils. It would also work better if it contained a series of cookery-related jokes leading to the eventual punchline.

In fact, the sketch does contain a number of completely straight food-related references (beans, rabbit, cooking, recipes, Nigella, pork, nuts) but they seem random and coincidental with no obvious comedic purpose.

Of course, as an alternative to a sketch where cookery-related characters make cookery-related jokes, you could have human detectives bemoaning their inability to make the suspect crack . . . then take the audience into the interrogation room where we see the suspect is Humpty Dumpty.

It'a a funny old world.

it does not work for me, I think it is a little stilted in places. keep up it though.

Oh, I'm sorry it didn't work for either of you. I'm genuinely disappointed, I personally was hoping that this one was there or thereabouts.
With regards to your comment about the punch being predictable, Roodeye, some of my other sketches have been accused of the same thing. But I personally don't think that is such a bad thing, it's like tantric comedy, you know it's coming and you wait and wait and finally BOOM! (I'm articulate aren't I? ). Little Britain and many other catchphrase based comedies had predictable punchlines by their very nature and I don't think it made it any less humourous. I'm trying to be as objective as possible and I hope I don't sound blinded in my self appraisal. Appreciate your comments Jim and Roodeye (who in particular has provided some really useful and extensive feedback to people in critique so big thumbs up to you!).

DETECTIVE VO
Look! We both know that you took the gun and shot Charlie 'Big Nuts' McGee, dead! [ACCUSED SITS SHAKING HIS HEAD] If you admit to it we could go easy on you, maybe get your sentence down to 15 years with good behaviour.

ACCUSED
I wasn't there, I didn't take the gun and I don't know who did it.

DETECTIVE VO
I'm getting seriously pissed off with you now…I'll just sit here as long as it takes for you to own up to what you did.

ACCUSED
Yeah and I'm getting seriously pissed off with you going on and on and on when I…didn't…kill…McGee!

CAMERA PULLS OUT TO REVEAL THE DETECTIVE STANDING UP AND PUSHING BACK HIS CHAIR. WE SEE HIS FACE IS A BIG PINK MUG.

DETECTIVE 2
Do I look like a mug?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MUG?!

I think it might work if you just simplify it.

Quote: Kasm @ October 31 2009, 12:50 AM BST

DETECTIVE VO
Look! We both know that you took the gun and shot Charlie 'Big Nuts' McGee, dead! [ACCUSED SITS SHAKING HIS HEAD] If you admit to it we could go easy on you, maybe get your sentence down to 15 years with good behaviour.

ACCUSED
I wasn't there, I didn't take the gun and I don't know who did it.

DETECTIVE VO
I'm getting seriously pissed off with you now…I'll just sit here as long as it takes for you to own up to what you did.

ACCUSED
Yeah and I'm getting seriously pissed off with you going on and on and on when I…didn't…kill…McGee!

CAMERA PULLS OUT TO REVEAL THE DETECTIVE STANDING UP AND PUSHING BACK HIS CHAIR. WE SEE HIS FACE IS A BIG PINK MUG.

DETECTIVE 2
Do I look like a mug?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MUG?!

I think it might work if you just simplify it.

View original

I agree with you if I was preoccupied with not giving the punchline away but for me part of comedy (or something I find funny) is creating a ridiculous situation, not necessarily just an unexpected reveal/punchline. So the humour, for me, came/comes from seeing this detective with a stupid pink mug for a head (which obviously could never happen) behaving as if everything was entirely normal and the accused and other detective doing the same, not acknowledging that he had this ridiculous head. I'm committing a cardinal sin by explaining things but I've been called up on some of my stuff being predictable before. Really appreciate the edit Kasm and yours is definitely better if the intention was to have an unexpected reveal. Cheers.

I don't know much if anything but thought this was a good idea. could it work if the scene started straight away with the accused and only revealing the mug head after the last line? I don't think you need the long set up with the first detective. just jump straight in with the accused denying the crime etc

Quote: scratchyr @ November 2 2009, 2:21 PM GMT

I don't know much if anything but thought this was a good idea. could it work if the scene started straight away with the accused and only revealing the mug head after the last line? I don't think you need the long set up with the first detective. just jump straight in with the accused denying the crime etc

View original

Yeah, this seems to be the general view. Cheers Scratchyr.

it certainly oinked my chuckle pig though. if I saw it on TV I would love it

Quote: scratchyr @ November 2 2009, 6:55 PM GMT

it certainly oinked my chuckle pig though. if I saw it on TV I would love it

View original

Cheers Scratchyr. I think it would sit well with your fruit sketch.

cheers, I'm flattered you think so. makes me miss big train. that had some classic absurdity, and the actor kevin eldon to boot.