Oh No Not a Montage Scene! Help Please.

Okay, so I need some help in laying out a kind of montage scene.

Basically what the scene consists of is a man making various phonecalls to his customers; he's trying to find a specific customer. Now instead of showing each and every phonecall in full, I just want to have a montage of these calls, with a little bit of the conversation from each one.

This is how I have set it out:

MONTAGE OF CALLS

CALL 1

JACK (on phone)
Hello, is that Cheryl? It's Jack McNaught here; you sold us a sofa a while back? Did you happen to have your passport photo taken recently? (short pause) What do you look like?

CALL 2

JACK (on phone)
Pam, hi. What colour are your eyes?

CALL 3

JACK (on phone)
Are you a blonde?

CALL 4

JACK (on phone)
What are you wearing?

CALL 5

JACK (on phone)
Do you have a pearl necklace?

CALL 6

JACK (on phone)
No this isn't a sex-pest.

CALL 7

JACK (on phone)
No I'm not spying outside your window. (pause) I don't know who that is in your garden.

CALL 8

JACK (on phone)
You did? Great! I'll bring them around as soon as I can. Okay, okay, bye.

-----

Is that okay? Is it easy to follow? I've never done a montage scene before so this is why I ask. All help is much appreciated.

That seems pretty much fine. I've got a montage scene in my latest, which is quite involved as it uses a voice-over, a flat location, Wimbledon Centre Court, TV coverage and a few background snippets of a couple during their relationship.

MONTAGE.

is all I labelled the scene. Then it's just attempting to be as slick and sparing in showing how the scene works. No complaints about how it was written (so far).

You might want to script it as...

'MONTAGE.

Jump cut sequence of JACK, at his office desk, making a series of phone calls.'

...perhaps?

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 28 2009, 6:17 PM BST

That seems pretty much fine. I've got a montage scene in my latest, which is quite involved as it uses a voice-over, a flat location, Wimbledon Centre Court, TV coverage and a few background snippets of a couple during their relationship.

MONTAGE.

is all I labelled the scene. Then it's just attempting to be as slick and sparing in showing how the scene works. No complaints about how it was written (so far).

View original

Yes, yours sounds much more complex than mine! Would you end it with END MONTAGE?

EDIT: Just read your edit. Yes I like that, thanks a lot.

Quote: Martin H @ October 28 2009, 6:19 PM BST

Yes, yours sounds much more complex than mine! Would you end it with END MONTAGE?

View original

I just end with the usual 'CUT TO:'

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 28 2009, 6:20 PM BST

I just end with the usual 'CUT TO:'

View original

After the final phonecall, the scene will then continue from that point. So it's not jumping to a new scene or new location, it is just continuous.

Quote: Martin H @ October 28 2009, 6:23 PM BST

After the final phonecall, the scene will then continue from that point. So it's not jumping to a new scene or new location, it is just continuous.

View original

I would personally still write it on the page as though it's a completely separate scene. Maybe put the last phone call as the opening of the "next" scene, back in real time?

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 28 2009, 6:29 PM BST

I would personally still write it on the page as though it's a completely separate scene. Maybe put the last phone call as the opening of the "next" scene, back in real time?

View original

Yeah that would work a lot better actually. Cheers Tim.

I'm trying to get this script perfect; it's my third script I'm sending to the BBC; it's my "invite next". I've been holding off sending something until I got a really good idea; I've finally got what I think is a great concept, with some good characters and most importantly, lots of the funny stuff!

I don't start writing until I have everything figured out; plot, characters, certain parts of dialogue etc. I like to have most of the plot and structure in place before I begin writing the first draft, I'm not one of those writers than can just open up a blank page and start typing. I'm at the point now where I have everything set up and I'm just writing the first draft.

Best of luck with it, Martin.

Thanks.

Quote: Martin H @ October 28 2009, 6:19 PM BST

Yes, yours sounds much more complex than mine! Would you end it with END MONTAGE?

EDIT: Just read your edit. Yes I like that, thanks a lot.

View original

Technically END MONTAGE is the correct ending.
Some people advise underling the sub-heads as well, but this might get a bit clumsy.

First rule, always, is that everyone should understand straightaway what's meant to be up on the screen.

Cheers

Quote: Lazzard @ October 28 2009, 8:01 PM BST

Technically END MONTAGE is the correct ending.
Some people advise underling the sub-heads as well, but this might get a bit clumsy.

First rule, always, is that everyone should understand straightaway what's meant to be up on the screen.

Cheers

View original

Thanks Lazzard. Could you understand from my example what was meant to be happening?

Yes I did.
Though, to make it crystal clear , and to hint at the style of the montage, at the top I would describe the montage ie "A series of jump cuts of various different phone conversations"
I think there's a similar scene in "Sleepless in Seattle" - might be worth looking out the screenplay.

Good luck.

Yeah I will definitely add the "series of jump cuts" description beforehand.

Thanks.