The Meerkats one is great. And topical.
I'm being stupid about the ant one, probably because I've just come out of a meeting at work and my brain's fried. I need the pun explained to me...
Dan Antopolski & Chris Addison Joke Competition Page 2
well @Diceproductions kicked it off with ...
My insect slaves are very helpful but there's nothing more annoying than 'yes men' #sickofants
(which I thought was amazing)
I replied much later with ...
@DiceProductions try talking to your insect slaves about the problem. #agonyants (5 hours that took)
They came back with
@each1teach1 I've spoken to them and I've decided to put them on antidepressants.
To which I replied
@DiceProductions what are they doing with their life? What does it all mean? #ExistentialAnts (Existential Angst)
@each1teach1 Well, I need a solution soon. They're getting pretty antsy.
And then Stan...
each1teach1
@DiceProductions play them heavy metal. It's good for moral. #anthrax
Cos Anthrax are a heavy metal band ... and have Ants in the name and ... oh well it's not that great. But it was late at night and I was out in Canary Wharf dazzled by the bright lights ...
Ah.... I didn't know Anthrax is a heavy metal band. And you misspelled morale! 
)
Bizarrely, a conversation with @diceproductions inspired one of my jokes too (he's a very funny guy). I'll add you on twitter when I get home.
The dp inspired joke:
'Bizarrely and legally you only have to get two feet off the ground to leave a county. Which means most crime should be done on pogo sticks and I spent this year's holiday on a trampoline'
I won't reproduce the whole conversation, although it did seem funny at the time.
My effort;
I recently got a rescue dog, which is great except when she gets called out in the middle of the night.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ November 6 2009, 12:29 PM GMTMy effort;
I recently got a rescue dog, which is great except when she gets called out in the middle of the night.
How did you do in the Swansea Fringe competition? I missed both the semis and the final.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ November 6 2009, 2:48 PM GMT
How did you do in the Swansea Fringe competition? I missed both the semis and the final.
Had a good one in the semi and then in the final, once I had a whiff of some money, I had a bit of an off night. Not a terrible gig but not good enough to win on a night with such a strong line up... oh well.
Do you do stand up?
Yes - I've only just started though. Saw you in the heats and was blown away. You rival our very own thefridaylink for brilliant onliners.
Just received this:
"Thanks for your entry into our LIVEstock 2009 made-up animal jokes competition. Unfortunately you haven't won this time." 
Ach well...
Quote: Marooned @ November 9 2009, 1:16 PM GMTJust received this:
"Thanks for your entry into our LIVEstock 2009 made-up animal jokes competition. Unfortunately you haven't won this time."
Ach well...
Me too...
I got 2 of these....
Entered 3 times ...
c'mon meer cats...
Quote: thefridaylink @ November 9 2009, 1:22 PM GMTI got 2 of these....
Entered 3 times ...
c'mon meer cats...
Go Cats!!
Argh, can't check my e-mail at work.
Who doesn't love Meerkats?
The winning joke
"What show do crabs go on to search for new houses? Crustation Crustation Crustation (Hosted by Krill Spencer)"
I preferred the Meer cats one. I guess they may not have read them all if they received a lot!
Shame I didn't even get a rejection e-mail though. Did anyone make it into the runner-up slots (they haven't put those on the site)?
I had a feeling I hadn't won when the gig came and went and no one had called me to give me my prize (of tickets to the gig).
Still I made up 3 new jokes due to it so it wasn't a wasted experience.
One day I'll get round to emailing Adam and Joe.
A young cat was starting out as a stand up. When he got to his first gig the promotor said "You must be kitten".
How do you apply to write Christmas cracker gags... I missed my calling.