THE NICK GRIFFIN IMPROV GROUP
NICK GRIFFIN AND 3 NAZI CUNTS (NC1 NC2 NC3) ARE ON STAGE.
NICK
Right my fellow Nazi c**ts the BNP's time has finally come! It's time for us to steal our enemies greatest secrets, their most terrible weapon. We are going to learn how to act. We are going to learn improv.
NC1
Do we have to?
NC2
I thought we were going to do bomb making.
NICK
No acting is far more deadly than any bomb! Tony Blair is about to take over all of you Europe, simply by pretending to be nice! Now quick impersonations, you Nigel.
NC1
Me?
NICK
Yes you! Your Eusene Bolt the black skinned super sprinter.
NC1 RUNS OFF THE STAGE
NICK
Convincing but unhelpful. Adolf you're a Kosovan.
NC2
Ere Nick what's my motivation?
NICK
Too get a bloody English passport. Do I have too think of everything.
NC2
Erm is this the Channel Tunnel I wish to sneak into the UK.
NC3 PUNCHES NC2
NC2
Ow what did you do that for? You bloody foreign.
NC3
Sorry Adolf I thought you were a Kosovan, all this pretending makes me confused. Nick can you show us how to do it?
NC2
Yeh Nick your Woody Allan is dead good. We all laughed and laughed at the Christmas book burning.
NICK
Ok (SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS AND LEANS OVER) I need to find another analyst, have you got a bagel, Mia Farrow is so...
NC2 +NC3 BEAT HIM UNCONCIOUS
NC2
Have we killed him?
NC3
He was very convincing (KICKS NICK) the Jewish bastard.