What's your favourite joke?
(I was asked this, and I don't have an answer, since it changes from moment to moment, and once told, most jokes cease being so funny. )
What's your favourite joke?
"Two choc ices walk into a bar...I would think that was amazing enough"
A man visits a watchmaker and asks if it's possible to make a clock out of potatoes. The experienced watchmaker replied that it's possible to make a clock out of just about anything, but he'd never made one out of potatoes before, and he'd have to do some research. Later that day he calls the customer and tells him he can make one, but it will take about two-weeks before it's ready.
A fortnight later the customer calls back and lo and behold the clock is ready. Delighted with the result, the customer pays the watchmaker and starts to leave the shop, when the watchmaker says, "…er, excuse me for asking, but this was a most unusual request...may I enquire why you want a clock made out of potatoes?"
"Certainly," replies the customer, "just before I saw you last, I went for a job interview and I was offered the position. The last thing my new boss said to me was, "you start at nine tomorrow, you'd better get a potato clock."
What's pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife.
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
Poke-im-on
Q) Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
A) Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Kills me everytime.
A man is driving, late for an extremely important meeting.
He gets to work and finds that the car park is jam packed full.
"Shit shit shit shit" he says.
Desperate, he looks up to the sky. "Please God, help me out here. Give me a parking space and I swear I'll devote the rest of my life to you. I'll give half my wages to charity, I'll give up sex, masturbation, everything; I'll be a saint and help people whenever I can! Please help me out"
He turns a corner and, amongst the hundreds of tightly squeezed cars, bathed in a ray of sunshine, he sees a space with plenty of room for his car.
He looks up to the sky again.
"Oh it's all right, found one now"
One for the Oldies among us from Tommy Trinder in about 1940 I think . .
'I was walking down Whitehall the other day and I asked this fellow 'Excuse me, but which side is the War Office on? He said 'Ours I hope.''
My Girlfriend and I broke up last week.
She said, "It's not you, it's me.....I think you're a C*nt"
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office, wearing shorts seemingly entirely made from clingfilm.
The psychiatrist says: "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts"
Wann hast du Geburtstag?
Dreimal in der Woche!
Finck and my German teacher found this hilarious. (okay my german teacher didn't; she sent me out of the exam. 
)
Quote: Oldrocker @ October 21 2009, 12:13 AM BSTOne for the Oldies among us from Tommy Trinder in about 1940 I think . .
'I was walking down Whitehall the other day and I asked this fellow 'Excuse me, but which side is the War Office on? He said 'Ours I hope.''
That'll keep me warm tonight, chuckling as I sleep in the air raid shelter.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 21 2009, 12:44 AM BSTWann hast du Geburtstag?
Dreimal in der Woche!
Finck and my German teacher found this hilarious. (okay my german teacher didn't; she sent me out of the exam.
I understand the words, but not the joke. 
Me too! German humour.