Quite a few years ago, after a somewhat large intake of alcoholic one evening, my wife and I staggered home braving a very fierce wind. While my wife made coffee, I took our dogs for their nightly walk. After our refreshments, we staggered to bed. Sometime later, I felt a sharp stabbing in my back; it was my wife's elbow!
"Tony, Tony" she said, "There's a policeman in our bedroom!"
"Scuse me sir, do you know your front door is wide open and your burglar alarm is going off?"
Climbing out of bed, I followed the copper downstairs to reset the alarm and close the front door, which I could not have closed properly, only to see a crowd of neighbours gathered at our front gate. It was then I realised I was stark naked!
I saw the nosy bastards the next day, curtain twitching pointing and laughing at me.