DOCTOR:
Please sit down, how can I help you?
MAN:
I've got persistent pins and needles in my arse, doctor.
DOCTOR:
Hmmm, do you work in a sedentary job?
MAN:
I do doctor, I'm on my arse all day.
DOCTOR:
And what about the evenings?
MAN:
Well, if I'm not sitting I'm usually standing. To be honest doctor, I think my wife might have something to do with it.
DOCTOR:
How come?
MAN:
She kicks me up the arse about ten times before bed with her steel toe-capped boots.
DOCTOR:
Why would she do that?
MAN:
I insult her something shocking doctor. Last night, I told her she had a face like a hangover chewing a bumblebee and I got five in a row for that.
DOCTOR:
You really need to stop insulting your wife.
MAN:
I can't doctor. I think I'm addicted.
DOCTOR:
Why didn't your wife come with you today?
MAN:
She couldn't come, she's very busy at her hypnotist clinic.
DOCTOR:
Your wife's a hypnotist? Perhaps she hypnotises you to insult her so she can kick your arse.
MAN:
God you could be onto something there doctor, I never thought of that. I'll ask her tonight.
DOCTOR:
Good luck with it, let me know the outcome.
MAN:
There was one other thing doctor.
DOCTOR:
Yes?
MAN:
Every time I see my wife, I get an erection.