British Comedy Guide

Rule cool Britannia

Sometimes good old Britain gets a drubbing and sometimes from Sootyj, for which he is sorry. Because let's face it Britain is great and everywhere else is rubbish.

So let's celebrate the manifold ways Blighty has the edge on Johnny foreigner!

1 Sandwiches. Years ago Britain established the holy trinity of sandwiches; cheese and pickle, egg and cress and tuna and sweetcorn. French cuisine and all that malarkey merely exists to compensate for their innability to get the basics right.

2 The royal family. Why bother trying to make a good impression? We've got an old lady, her bad tempered husband and their doley kids.

3 Sarcasm. We invented it, but you Americans are quite good at it. No really you are...honest.

We're world-beaters on the correct way to queue and the etiquette relating to it. :)

Exactly and we have the best comedy racists. Who isn't looking forward to pissing them selves at Griffin on question time?

You use the word "wank" whereas we use "jerk off" or rub one off" which just don't sound as nice.

Indeed English rude words are the finest in the world; bum, arse, wank bullet, bugger, smeg.

Beat that France!

I don't think any other country has the tradition that all its seaside bed-and-breakfast hotels and guest houses must be run by people with borderline personality disorders. :)

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 6 2009, 11:18 PM BST

I don't think any other country has the tradition that all its seaside bed-and-breakfast hotels and guest houses must be run by people with borderline personality disorders. :)

And not sharing a toilet is a luxury you should pay extra for.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 6 2009, 11:18 PM BST

I don't think any other country has the tradition that all its seaside bed-and-breakfast hotels and guest houses must be run by people with borderline personality disorders. :)

When my best friend from school moved to Wales (I know, I know) she stayed at a guest house for a couple nights. On the morning she left, the proprietor was being arrested for murdering his wife the night before. So I know what you mean. :)

Quote: AndreaLynne @ October 6 2009, 11:22 PM BST

When my best friend from school moved to Wales (I know, I know) she stayed at a guest house for a couple nights. On the morning she left, the proprietor was being arrested for murdering his wife the night before. So I know what you mean. :)

Bet he still expected all rooms to be evacuated by 8.30 AM sharp.

Laughing out loud She probably made the mistake of giving a guest both toast and fried bread at breakfast, which is cause for justifiable homicide under Hotel & Catering laws in this country.

Quote: sootyj @ October 6 2009, 11:23 PM BST

Bet he still expected all rooms to be evacuated by 8.30 AM sharp.

Laughing out loud I'm sure you're right.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 6 2009, 11:25 PM BST

Laughing out loud She probably made the mistake of giving a guest both toast and fried bread at breakfast, which is cause for justifiable homicide under Hotel & Catering laws in this country.

My understanding was that it was with an ax or something like that.

It ought to pretty much impossible to f**k up grilling a steak, but if anyone can do it it's a British restaurant. Pleased

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 6 2009, 11:28 PM BST

It ought to pretty much impossible to f**k up grilling a steak, but if anyone can do it it's a British restaurant. Pleased

Is the food really that bad?

Quote: AndreaLynne @ October 6 2009, 11:31 PM BST

Is the food really that bad?

Yeah, we have this reputation (especially in the US for some reason) of having really bad food. We actually have a pretty varied cuisine with plenty of good restaurants around. It's just that we have so many places where the cooking, presentation and service is so dreadful it is something of a national joke. Not many Brits consider that they should be actually serving someone who's no better than them and do it begrudgingly.

And us Brits famously, no matter how bad the food or the service is, rarely complain - it's all just too embarrassing. Many places take advantage of this fact to not even bother to try and make the food any good. Fawlty Towers ideas of service and cuisine do still have some relevance. :(

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 6 2009, 11:36 PM BST

Yeah, we have this reputation (especially in the US for some reason) of having really bad food. We actually have a pretty varied cuisine with plenty of good restaurants around. It's just that we have so many places where the cooking, presentation and service is so dreadful it is something of a national joke. Not many Brits consider that they should be actually serving someone who's no better than them and do it begrudgingly.

And us Brits famously, no matter how bad the food or the service is, rarely complain - it's all just too embarrassing. Many places take advantage of this fact to not even bother to try and make the food any good. Fawlty Towers ideas of service and cuisine do still have some relevance. :(

This doesn't bode well for moving moving there you realize. :(

Ah, that's okay. Most of our restaurants are shit too. Console

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