British Comedy Guide

Lottery Wins Page 4

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ October 5 2009, 12:54 AM BST

When I was a kid my Grandparents, aunts, and uncles took me and my cousins to this club house thing which my Grandad was a member of, who were throwing a kids Christmas party. It was brill. There was a disco, puppets, magic, and a buffet and fairy tale people like Cinderella and Snow White. The adults got to have a drink at the bar while this was going on and later on we were led to this big room with a stage and Santa came in on a Sleigh. All brilliant.

Santa sat on a big throne on the stage and had various people helping him including the lovely Cinderella. All the kids had been given coloured badges and when your colour was called you went to line up on stage and get a pressie from Santa.

As this was all going on, my Uncles and my Grandad were getting very hammered as we had been there all day. They came in to see us go on stage. I was the last in the line after my cousins and as I recieved my gift, my Uncle staggered onto the stage, knocking down scenery, and groped Cinderella. My Uncle had to be dragged off and thrown out by elves and I just remember being in this cab excited about my awesome day and my gift with my aunt and nan give my uncle evils and my grandad just pissing himself.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

If you want mad family stories, I am the person to talk to.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ October 5 2009, 1:09 AM BST

If you want mad family stories, I am the person to talk to.

Console Hug

In a good but crazy way.

Won lots of tens, but went in with my Dad once, two lucky dips on one ticket and won £700 had to split it :( :D

I did win £200 in a work thing. Spent it on my DS and charity.

Quote: Badge @ October 5 2009, 12:11 AM BST

I love a crazy gamble I have a squillionth of a chance of winning.

"Don't buy a lottery ticket on a Monday for Saturday draw. You have better odds of dropping dead by Saturday than winning."

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 5 2009, 12:22 AM BST

Perhaps we should have funded London 2012 this way? ;)

I wish that the French had beaten us.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 5 2009, 12:27 AM BST

If a school were to be raising money for a project designed to benefit the community as a whole then it may be able to apply for a Lottery grant I suppose...

Correct.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 5 2009, 12:14 AM BST

I remember Vic Reeves coming up with an idea that all big lottery winners had to start up a business or employ something like ten other people, so that the wealth spread. It was actually quite a good idea (so good I can't remember it).

Or you could drastically lower the odds so 100 people won £25,000 each for example. Sadly it it's not that easy as not so many would participate if the prize was smaller because as a species we can be extremely greedy and stupid.

Quote: youngian @ October 5 2009, 3:59 PM BST

Or you could drastically lower the odds so 100 people won £25,000 each for example. Sadly it it's not that easy as not so many would participate if the prize was smaller because as a species we can be extremely greedy and stupid.

Which is why I play Russian roulette with a double barreled shotgun every Monday.

Therefore massively increasing my chance of sudden death and ergo increasing my choice of winning.

The only probable loser is my cleaner.

Quote: sootyj @ October 5 2009, 4:09 PM BST

Which is why I play Russian roulette with a double barreled shotgun every Monday.

Therefore massively increasing my chance of sudden death and ergo increasing my choice of winning.

The only probable loser is my cleaner.

Sooty's not been on line for a while :O

What day is it?

New Yom Kippur, I just invented it.

Heathen!

Quote: sootyj @ October 5 2009, 5:03 PM BST

New Yom Kippur, I just invented it.

Heathen!

True, but you'll forgive me :)

At least I know you didn't shoot yourself. Maybe you're just having connection troubles in your tree house?

BCG syndicate! Even with 40-50 people that's still life changing money on a jackpot win.

Quote: youngian @ October 5 2009, 3:59 PM BST

Or you could drastically lower the odds so 100 people won £25,000 each for example. Sadly it it's not that easy as not so many would participate if the prize was smaller because as a species we can be extremely greedy and stupid.

I remember when the jackpot was about £6m. When it rolled over you thought ok so it'll be £12m next week. It was always around £20m coz all these gits thought 'well ok £6million's not bad but £12m!

I actually did a lot of research on the lottery for a script I wrote. There's all these smug bastards who choose 1,2,3,4,5,6 coz when they win the jackpot they're going to turn round to you and say 'told you, it's random, choosing numbers is pointless.' According to Camelot there's so many of them their jackpot will be pointless.

Apparently 10,000 people in the UK run 1,2,3,4,5,6 every week, so yes you wouldn't get alot if you did win.

And a a syndicate is your best chance of winning, otherwise it's about a 14 million to 1 chance of winning the jackpot.

I pay £10 a month to play the lottery just online, direct debit, so I don't even go to the shops!

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