RFTP Sketch #2: Idiot Training

This is my second RFTP sketch. Any criticism, constructive or not, would be greatly appreciated

IDIOT TRAINING (RADIO SKETCH)

VOICE-OVER GUY:NEW, for the Nintendo DS from the makers of Brain Training, Brain Straining, Brain Maintaining, Champagne Abstaining, Jane Entertaining, Wayne Entertaining, Dwayne and Elaine Entertaining, Pain Feigning and Insane Complaining comes Doctor Tamagotchi's Idiot Training – Lose 100 IQ points in three weeks or you don't get your money back!

Follow the 48 Steps on the Path to Idiocy, from acting a bit dim before your first brew of the day to believing you've actually won the jackpot on one of those free scratch-cards in the Sunday paper.

Never again will you be able to answer correctly the multiple choice phone quiz question on 'Ant and Dec's Saturday Takeaway' or stand in a queue without talking to the stranger in front of you.

Interactive functions allow you to choose from twelve different kinds of idiot, including Village Idiot, American Idiot, Moron, Imbecile, Simpleton and Bolton Wanderers Supporter.

Use the wireless function to interact with fellow Trainee Idiots in your vicinity and congregate at bus stations and 'Britain's Got Talent' auditions.

Unlock mini-games such as 'Binary Sudoku'; 'Paper, Paper, Paper' and 'Visible Hangman'

Now also available on the Nintendo Wii with extra functionality, including Idiot Driving School where you'll learn to pull over without ever using your indicators, drive at fifty in the middle lane, and overtake someone who's just pulled over to let a speeding ambulance past.

Really like this, but you know they'll have to strip out all the brand names including Britain's Got Talent, Tamogotchi and Nintendo DS? I'm sure the Comedy department can find suitable homonyms for these though!

Hey Humberfloob,

There were some strong parts to this particularly the start, but I think it might hinder the likelihood of them taking the sketch up if they have to edit it. Although they might email you to edit out/alter the brand names if they really like it, so best of luck!

I know you don't have long to re write. there is good stuff here but you have a lot of filler IMHO. My tips are focus on the one product, cut the lists down to rule of three gags, and bring in the best gags like paper, paper, paper much earlier. I think you have the makings of a good short sketch but you have to lose the waffle.

Thanks Elise, Adam and Badge for the prompt responses. I say bugger to those brand name Nazis at the BBC but will conform to their petty rules until I have the opportunity to overthrow them from within. Having reread it I think I can see where I can cut, merge and tighten so thanks again everyone.

I thought to add that there's a similar sketch on The Kevin Bishop Show about the Bintendo Pii (I think that's the fake brand they use).

In terms of "Brand Nazis" (although that in itself is quite funny) it's not really about being a "Nazi" it's about avoiding litigation. Remember your audience is smart enough to realise when something is a parody of a recognisable brand as yours is (if they don't then the sketch isn't aimed at them).

Also if brand names could be used more freely (currently companies can supply products but not pay for mentions or uses) we'd be in a worse state with product placement than we already are.

Having said all this, I think your sketch is exactly the kind of thing RFTP will want.

Quote: Elise Bramich @ October 2 2009, 11:11 PM BST

Also if brand names could be used more freely (currently companies can supply products but not pay for mentions or uses)

View original

They CAN pay for it now. (well, ITV can so far) -- "Troubled ITV stands to reap tens of millions of pounds in new revenue under Government plans"

http://tinyurl.com/ybco79w

Ah yes, I had it cockahoop in my head. Still it's not a total free-for-all (depends on the program tone/makers/message) and I find it quite jarring when people do mention products by actual name. You still probably wouldn't get away with saying here's a Nintendo DS look at all these made up RUBBISH games you can get for it.

This thread has worked wonders for Nintendo though. I'm off to play Mario Kart.

Thanks Elise
I took everything you said on board by the way before I submitted the sketch at half eleven last night (Nuntindo BS). I have seen the Kevin Bishop sketches and while I didn't deliberately try to rip them off I must admit its not the most original idea.
By the way, my original sketch was going to be a parody of the iPhone 'There's an App for that' adverts until I realised there's hundreds already been posted on YouTube!

While I wasen't so keen on the sketch personally (I prefer punchline based sketches), it's a strong idea and it is definitely the kind of sketch that RFTP would use.

Thanks Chris, to be honest that second sketch was a bit of a last minute rush and like you I prefer the well crafted punchline sketch but I find they take longer to get right.