HOW HITLER GOT HIS TASH.
1. INT. HITLER'S PRIVATE BATHROOM. DAY.
ADOLPH IS LATHERING UP HIS FACE AND LOOKING IN THE MIRROR. HE HAS A LARGE, IMPRESSIVE MOUSTACHE. HE BEGINS TO SHAVE HIS FACE, CAREFULLY AVOIDING HIS BEAUTIFUL 'TACHE.
THERE'S A SUDDEN LOUD KNOCK AT THE DOOR AND HITLER JUMPS, SLICING A SMALL PART OF HIS MOUSTACHE OFF ON THE LEFT.
HITLER:
Gott in Himmell… yes, what is it?
GEORRING: (OOV)
Herr Hitler, the foreign ambassadors are here. We are ready to begin the peace talks.
HITLER:
Coming, just freshening up!
HE EXAMINES HIS LOPSIDED TASH.
HITLER:
Damn. Better even it out.
HE QUICKLY BEGINS SHAVING THE OTHER SIDE TO EVEN IT OUT. THERE'S ANOTHER KNOCK AT THE DOOR. HITLER JUMPS AGAIN AND SLICES MORE OFF HIS TASH THAN HE INTENDED.
HITLER:
Jesus…
GOERRING: (OOV)
Will you be much longer, Fuhrer? The peace talks cannot continue without your wise and serene counsel.
HITLER:
I said I'll be there in a second, okay?
GETTING INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATED, HE BEGINS TO EVEN OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF HIS TASH. IT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.
HITLER:
Oh no, look at the state of that…
HE QUICKLY TRIES THE OTHER SIDE BUT IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE.
HITLER:
Oh for f.…
CUT TO:
2. INT. HITLER'S WAR ROOM. DAY.
HERR GOERRING AND A FEW OTHER NAZI OFFICERS ARE ASSEMBLED. HITLER WALKS OUT OF THE BATHROOM DOOR WITH HIS RIDICULOUS TINY MOUSTACHE.
EVERYONE STARTS TO LAUGH AND POINT. GOERRING PUTS A COMB END BENEATH HIS NOSE AND SALUTES.
HITLER:
(RAGING) Right, f**k the peace talks! Just for that I'm invading Poland!
