This was written by me, circa 2003. When the good times where abound in the city.
Setting is in a Merchant Bank's WC in the City Of London.
FRANK: (WALKING IN, AND GOES OVER TO THE URINAL FOR A PEE)
I went in to see the old man this morning Stew (SPEAKING WITH HIS HEAD
HALF TURNED TO STEWART)
STEWART: Oh yea (SPEAKING VERY GUARDEDLY, NODDING HIS HEAD REPEATEDLY TOWARDS A
CUBICLE)
FRANK: Wassa matter Stew? you got a stiff neck or something? the old mans got a
habit of doing that. (FRANK DOING A PERFECT IMITATION OF THE OLD MAN)
mm yes yes mmm yes yes mmm quite. (NODDING HIS HEAD AT THE SAME TIME)
STEWART: (MOUTHING SILENTLY AND CONTINUING TO NOD HIS HEAD ON THE DIRECTION OF A
A CUBICLE)sssshhhhhhh.
FRANK: Bloody hell! what you lost the power of speech now? anyway (ZIPPING UP
HIS FLY AND WALKING OVER TO STEWART) Like I said, I went to see the old
fart this morning, I knocked on the door and walked straight in......
STEWART: (TRYING TO GUIDE FRANK TO THE EXIT)
FRANK: (RESISTING HIM)I said to him "I want a word with you about my position in the
company. For a start,I want a 30% increase in my salary, and also, I
want a promotion within three months". I told him Stew, I said that a
head hunter, phoned me up, two days ago, offering me 50% more than I am
getting here, and a generous share option, with a perfomance related
bonus on top.
STEWART: (FINALLY GIVING UP HOPE OF SHUTTING FRANK UP AND ROLLING HIS EYES)
FRANK: Yes I told the old fart, "if I don't get what I want, you can stuff
your'e job where the sun don't shine" you gotta be up front Stew!
and do you know what he said? he said " of course Frank, I certainly
do not want this company to lose someone with your trading talent and
ability.
FX: (SOUND OF TOILET FLUSHING AND CUBICLE DOOR OPENING)
STEWART: (HOLDING HEAD IN HANDS AND MUTTERING) "Oh Jesus Christ"
FRANK: (STARING AT THE OPENING CUBICLE DOOR WITH 'THE OLD FARTS FIGURE
EMERGING' "Oh shit"!