I knew I was ill

Just putting this here to see if anyone cares for the premise. Not keen on the writing at the mo, not subtle enough and maybe derivative of someone elses style? (won't say who because if no one guesses it I might keep the style...) Just something sketched out months ago, a certain kind of person I wanted to write about. I thought I'd post to see if anyone else finds the premise funny because it might be a bit dodgy.
Cheers

(Written for radio by the way and no stage directions yet - he's resigned, droning, speaks without inflection/emotion; she's dramatic and puts a lot of emphasis/feeling into her words)

WOMANWell I started noticing it about five years ago. Everything just started to go, you know? I mean I literally couldn't see without my glasses, could I?

BARRYMmm. Reading glasses...

WOMANLiterally couldn't see.

BARRYMmm.

WOMANAnd my joints were so achey I couldn't stand up sometimes...

BARRYYeah...

WOMAN...and my hearing was bad. I couldn't hear Barry at all!

BARRYSometimes you could.

WOMANWell not very often, Barry.

BARRYSometimes didn't seem to bother you, really.

WOMANThat was because I was looking at you, Barry. I could see you lips moving.

BARRYYeah...

WOMANI couldn't hear.

BARRYYeah...

WOMANSo I was at the doctors all the time. Trying to explain it to them. But they couldn't see it, could they?

BARRYSaid there was nothing wrong.

WOMANNo outwardly signs.

BARRYNothing physically wrong.

WOMANThen I found someone who could help me with that.

BARRYSaid he was a doctor.

WOMANAnother doctor, yeah. A second opinion. Help the other doctors to see.

BARRYMmm.

WOMANHe did my eyes and my ears.

BARRYPencils.

WOMANPencils. And then he did my legs for me too.

BARRYBroken in three places.

WOMANKneecaps were completely shattered weren't they?

BARRYMmm.

WOMANI'm officially disabled now.

BARRYYou seem a lot happier.

WOMANI am. A lot happier. Just relieved, you know. I knew I was ill. I
kept saying. I knew I was ill...

FADE OUT

Hi Glen,

it reminded me of those fast show sketches 'Tell 'em Roy' . Do I win a prize?

I think there's a good idea in there but the 'pencils' line confused me, did I miss something? Maybe need to boil it down a bit.

WOMAN:
Pencils. And then he did my legs for me too.

BARRY:
Broken in three places.

WOMAN:
Yeh, Brighton, Margate and Dover.

BARRY:
Mmm.

Hmm...don't remember that Fast show sketch...or understand what Morrace said...(thanks though, Morrace. I'm sure it's just something that's gone over my head)

Yeah, it's me trying to escape the dangers of shock humour by vying for subtlety then going too far. Bit muddy isn't it? Wrote this in a pub waiting for a friend and it has, since then, been a "glimmer" that I can't quite structure in my mind....back to the drawing board (or I'll maybe just leave this one...)

Cheers

Oh wait! I remember that sketch from Fast Show now! You're right! Hadn't noticed that!