Lazzard, Kevin Murphy, Marc P, & Martin H -
- none of you can spell 'crap'.
Anticipating Marc P; I hasten to add that you are all trap at spelling!
Personal Space - my failed Sitcom Trials entry Page 2
Quote: Beanz @ November 4 2009, 1:42 PM GMTCharacter-wise and dialogue-wise this is basically Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in Shaun Of The Dead, no? Only on a spaceship. And I'm pretty sure that the, "I wish I could be more like you sometimes" bit is already a scene in Hot Fuzz (starring you-know-who).
Are you Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright in disguise, Die Hard?
Yes, yes I am. ...or more accurately, no I'm not.
Thanks Beanz for dragging this back out of the critique archives for a second trouncing look. You're not the first to mention the Simon Pegg/Nick Frost dynamic, see EDW's above, but I did take that comment seriously and hope in future writing I've ensured it does not crop up by making my own characters' traits clearer. The line 'I wish I could be more like you' has I'm sure been used all over the place but I'm certain there was no Tyler Durden gag in Hot Fuzz. Congratulations on your first post and welcome. 
Hi Lazzard thank you for your kind comments. I don't think that you were harsh the first time, I agree with what you wrote. I have since written a mid-episode for entry in the Sitcommission in which I'm hoping I've improved. I have limited myself to a single poo gag and no farting whatsoever. I have also expanded to three sets and put back in a third character to help me keep the action in the present not the past. Appreciate you posting twice, thanks again.
I am taking my new episode to the workshop on Saturday and whilst I have tried to limit the exposition, I am fairly certain I have failed, so Kevin we're in the same boat. Do you know if it's still just the two of us going? Only I'm concerned about the ice-breaker. I've heard it's a game of twister, so it could be a little awkward...
Quote: Morrace @ November 4 2009, 7:56 PM GMT- none of you can spell 'crap'.
I can smell it, though.