Getting it down

Hi Guys

I'm currently in the middle of my 20th (Or there abouts) re-write of a sitcom

The problem I have is that it is very hard to get a lot of the humour accross. Yes there are gags, but it's quite similar to the smoking room in that the sitcom is based in one room where characters come and go and it offers very little in terms of actual Situation Comedy. There's just one Situation, so it needs good actors and good timing

Often the gag should be acted as it may be a mime or a certain look and is extremely difficult to get accross on paper

I suppose everyone can see their work in their head and the challenge is to get that accross on paper as best you can, but with no Scenary Changes or Slapstick it feels a little bland.

Advice warmly welcomed

I'm not gonna do your work for you man. You ain't my pimp. MY pimp's got clear heels and a limp.

Could this not be something you could try and produce yourself as a mini series for online? To show it works? Then build up from that?

I would suggest if the bulk of the laughs are meant to come from mimes and funny looks , you may be on a hiding to nothing.

Just make sure you've got enough gags that read funny - the little looks etc will then be a bonus.

Professional readers will see the potential for all the subtle stuff.

The Royal Family scripts read pretty funny - not much happened there.

The BBC writersroom site has a Smoking Room script online for everyone to read, why not see how it was done there?

I happen to know that 96% of sitcom scripts rejected by the BBC writersroom will have a stage direction informing you that one of the character winks after saying a line. *bangs head on table in astonishment and frustration - hilariously so*