DR NO, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (MGG) AND GOLD FINGER ARE SITTING AT A TABLE.
GOLDFINGER
Welcome to the biannual meeting of SPECTRE. Now how go our fiendish plans for wolrd domination?
DR NO
Before we get started who's turn is it to take minutes?
MGG
It's yours I believe.
DR NO
Well I can't obviously, hooks for hand see?
MGG
Oh now come on Dr surely you can get a specially adapted hand or something? It's not fair me and Goldie have to minute 30% more often because of you.
GOLDFINGER
Ok ok I'll minute if Dr No makes the tea. And before you say anything I've had the kettle adapted...and the biscuit barrel. Now can we please get on?
DR NO
Well I have finished my nuclear reactor mu ha ha!
MGG
Great and now you're moving on to use it to black mail the world?
DR NO
No
GOLDFINGER
Produce atomic weapons for the highest bidder?
DR NO
No
MGG
So what are you using it for?
DR NO
Producing cheap, safe nuclear power. I sell it to the Jamaican government at a discount.
MGG
Well that's hardly evil.
DR NO
They gave me the keys to the city of Kingston, the youth steel drum band played and everything.
GOLDFINGER
That's even less evil.
DR NO
Oh right and what have you been upto then Mr Man with a Golden Gun?
MGG
Well erm not much.
DR NO
Do pray tell why?
MGG
Look the one big disadvantage of a frankly improbable, gun made up of innocent looking gold objects is theft. Some sod swiped the bits from my hotel room and the travel insurance won't let me buy a new one, as it would look suspicious.
GOLD FINGER
I heard you'd been given a new moniker. The man with a brick in a sock.
DR NO (SINGING TO THE GOLD FINGER THEME)
He's a cock the man with a brick in a sock, but what a cock.
MGG
Shut up Gold Finger you're one too talk. Where's Odd Job these days?
GOLD FINGER
Can we get on with business please.
DR NO
Oh no this is far to juicy, c'mon Man with the Golden Gun what's he been upto?
MGG
He was working on the side. Gold Finger found his website and gave him his cards.
DR NO
What was he doing?
MGG
Put it this way his first isn't always Odd, sometimes it's hand or blow.
GOLD FINGER
Look I'm not homophobic but an evil villain's got standards. Frankly this is getting a little embarassing, doesn't James Bond usually save us from this by you know blowing our bases up.
MGG
And shooting us. Where is he?
DR NO
Swine Flu I heard.
GOLDFINGER
Ooh nasty!