Scene 1
Jack Straw and Peter Mandleson are meeting.
Straw : I'm getting a right arse reaming over the this Libyan thing Peter.
Mandleson : If I could I take it for you Jack I would!
Straw : We better get some bloody investment out of Gaddafi for this shit.
Mandleson : Listen, I've heard there is going to be a major move very shortly
Straw: What is it? Some tie in with the old black gold?
Mandleson. More like brown gold.
Straw: Brown gold?
Mandleson: Let's say forget Bournville, think Tripoliville.
Straw: What?
Mandleson: No more Creme Eggs, think Creme Semtex.
Straw: Cadbury's? The Libyan's are buying Cadbury's?
Mandleson: Oh yes!
Straw: They can't.
Mandleson: Why?
Straw: Dairy Milk! They won't like that will they? Cows and all that.
Mandleson: They're Muslims not Hindus!
Straw: Okay then, Animal bars – they won't put pigs on them anymore.
Mandleson: Small price to pay for saving all those jobs.
Straw: Well I suppose so , I can't see people being keen on Curly Burka's though.
Mandleson: Look the Libyan's aren't terrorists anymore, we should accept them with open arms. I have it on good authority that he is going to lower prices and up production!
Scene 2
Tent in Libyan desert. Gaddafi is addressing his government.
Gaddafi : So bombs and guns failed! I have a new plan gentleman. Death by chocolate.
