Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 12 2009, 2:01 PM BSTOnly once in a while when we buy it for something to read on the bus and then realise the terrible mistake we made when we read titles such as "My husband is two timing me with my Dad" and "50 ways to do rude things with shoes".
One of the most pikey/chav things I've seen in one of these slag mags was in a top tips section recently, it said 'to save time cut your pizza with scissors'.
Quote: The Giggle-o @ September 12 2009, 2:56 PM BSTOne of the most pikey/chav things I've seen in one of these slag mags was in a top tips section recently, it said 'to save time cut your pizza with scissors'.
I think I read that one!
Quote: Nil Putters @ September 12 2009, 1:46 AM BSTOh baby I hear the dudes a calling, tossed penis and two love eggs.
Damn tight.
Well maybe I seem a bit abused, but baby, I just got pegged. Ha Ha Ha
But I don't know what to do with those tossed penis and two love eggs.
I'm cumming again..Jizz sputters all over your face.
Quote: Sammy @ September 12 2009, 2:50 PM BSTIT'S play piece, you racist
Thaaaat's the one.
The more I hear it, it sounds like a euphemism for a lady-naughty-time tool.
Quote: The Giggle-o @ September 12 2009, 2:56 PM BSTOne of the most pikey/chav things I've seen in one of these slag mags was in a top tips section recently, it said 'to save time cut your pizza with scissors'.
That's one of the upsides of being single, this kind of stuff doesn't invade your consciousness.
'I'm just going to the shops for some milk. Do you need anything?'
'No, I'm fine.'
'Cool, be back in ten.'
Ring, ring.
'Hello?'
'Can you pick me up a copy of Heat and Take a Break magazine?'
'Yeah, no problem.' Aargh! Now I'm going to look like some sort of super queer titface as I pick these from the magazine rack. Oh great, the shop is full of hooded chavs, this is going to go well.
Ring, ring.
'Can you pick me up a pack of Silk Cut White as well? Thanks babe.' What is this woman trying to do to me?!
'Let's see, Heat, Take a Break and twenty Silk Cut White, anything else?'
'Yes, can I have a box of super absorbent tampons for my bleeding vagina. I might as well complete the esmaculation set whilst I'm here.' 
Quote: Sammy @ September 12 2009, 2:57 PM BSTI think I read that one!
You may have read it but have you employed the tip? That's the true mark of a chavette.
It's the type of woman you attract.
Quote: Aaron @ September 12 2009, 3:13 PM BSTIt's the type of woman you attract.
Do you know how difficult it is to find a woman who doesn't read Heat magazine? Even if you find a super intellectual one who claims to disdain celebrity culture, they'll still buy it and read it secretly. It's like lady porn.
But also Take A Break? And 'Silk Cut White'? Gah. You do it to yourself, man!
Quote: Aaron @ September 12 2009, 3:18 PM BSTBut also Take A Break? And 'Silk Cut White'? Gah. You do it to yourself, man!
It get's worse, I once had to sit through an entire Hollyoaks Omnibus on a Sunday morning. Of course, I made very sarcastic remarks all the way through it which resulted in being punched in the arm repeatedly, but hey, you do these things...mainly because you want to have sexual congress admittedly...but you still do them.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 12 2009, 3:25 PM BSTI once had to sit through an entire Hollyoaks Omnibus on a Sunday morning.
"The horror... the horror..."
Quote: The Giggle-o @ September 12 2009, 2:56 PM BSTOne of the most pikey/chav things I've seen in one of these slag mags was in a top tips section recently, it said 'to save time cut your pizza with scissors'.
I use scissors to cut pizza I have baked myself. It is easier than using a knife and doesn't scratch the baking trays. As my pizzas are made with sun-dried tomatoes, Cornish goats' cheese, Basque Chorizo and topped with rocket I can assure I'm neither a pikey nor chav. 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 12 2009, 5:57 PM BSTBasque Chorizo .
You make sausage out of old underwear, that is the chaviest thing I ever heard of!
What do you make your burgers from? Yfronts?
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 12 2009, 5:57 PM BSTBasque Chorizo
I'm not a big fan of the ubiquitous Mexican chorizo because, to quote Wikipedia, it's made from "lips, lymph nodes, and salivary glands." 
As long as they're not human body parts I'm happy to eat it. 