INT. DAY. PUB.
COCKNEY PUB FULL OF GEEZERS ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
GEEZER 1 GETS UP FROM HIS BAR STOOL:
Brown nose in the ring, tra la la la la.
GEEZER 2 STANDS UP:
She looks like Alan Sugar in a plum, plum, plum.
GEEZER 3:
That's what we're talking abaht, time for a geezer-off.
THE TWO GEEZERS WALK TOWARDS EACH OTHER. THE THIRD GEEZER STANDS BETWEEN THEM. HE IS TAKING BETS FROM THE GATHERED MOB.
GEEZER 1:
Numpty Dumpty went to Millwall.
GEEZER 2:
Numpty Dumpty left with f**k all.
FX APPLAUSE AND CHEERS.
GEEZER 1:
Rub a dub dub, three clowns in a tub.
GEEZER 2:
I know a horse race you don't know, doodah, doodah.
THE WHOLE PUB STARTS TO SING:
I know a horse race you don't know, doodah, doodah, day.
GEEZER 1:
Doodah, doodah, day... shit.
GEEZER 1 RETURNS TO HIS BAR STOOL DEJECTED.