British Comedy Guide

Just had some road rage.....

Driving back from the gym I was stuck behind someone who was going really really slow and breaking at every single opportunity. It looked to be a bloke in his mid-late 30's.

Anyway, I know the roads really well so when I got to a safe and suitable place, I started to overtake him, but as I started to do this, he started to speed up so I couldn't overtake. What a cock. Anyway, I had to pull back over and sit behind him for the rest of my journey where he continued to go slowly knowing I couldn't overtake anywhere else on the road due to its corners and bends etc. I clapped my hands so he could see me in his mirror, but he just sat looking smug.

What an absolute c**t he was Angry

Anyone else had some road rage experiences?

A few months ago I gave a guy about a quarter of a second of horn because he cut in front of me and was generally driving like a jerk. He rolled down his window, gestured angrily and jumped out of his car and threw up his fists in a fighting pose. His face was purple with rage.

I just steered around the would-be pugilist, smiled and blew him a kiss as I passed. He was literally hopping mad the last I saw him, jumping up and down and screaming his head off.

It's not really road rage, is it? I started reading hoping that you'd had your head slammed repeatedly into the side of your car by a steroid pumped man-mountain, while all you were was mildly frustrated by a road arse.

Quote: DaButt @ September 1 2009, 3:14 PM BST

A few months ago I gave a guy about a quarter of a second of horn because he cut in front of me and was generally driving like a jerk. He rolled down his window, gestured angrily and jumped out of his car and threw up his fists in a fighting pose. His face was purple with rage.

I just steered around the would-be pugilist, smiled and blew him a kiss as I passed. He was literally hopping mad the last I saw him, jumping up and down and screaming his head off.

That's better. Although I'd rather you shot him than drive passed.

Ok, sorry I wasn't savagely beaten.

Quote: Jacob Loves Comedy @ September 1 2009, 3:18 PM BST

Ok, sorry I wasn't savagely beaten.

Just don't let it happen again.

Quote: Jacob Loves Comedy @ September 1 2009, 3:06 PM BST

Driving back from the gym I was stuck behind someone who was going really really slow and breaking at every single opportunity. It looked to be a bloke in his mid-late 30's.

Anyway, I know the roads really well so when I got to a safe and suitable place, I started to overtake him, but as I started to do this, he started to speed up so I couldn't overtake. What a cock. Anyway, I had to pull back over and sit behind him for the rest of my journey where he continued to go slowly knowing I couldn't overtake anywhere else on the road due to its corners and bends etc. I clapped my hands so he could see me in his mirror, but he just sat looking smug.

What an absolute c**t he was Angry

Anyone else had some road rage experiences?

Very same happened to me yesterday, but it was a small car with an old man, and even thought I could have overtaken him, it would have been risky.

Most childish thing to do is tailgate, I hate myself for doing it, but for dickheads like that I would make an exception.

Laughing out loud Nice DaButt.
But Jacob what you just encountered is perhaps my biggest driving pet peeve. Someone driving below the speed limit speeds up when you try to pass them.
That's how I got my only speeding ticket to date actually. I was driving in Northern Ontario (visiting family) and I was driving behind a guy doing just what you pointed out, he was also constantly hitting the side of the road throwing up rocks at my car. I tried to pass the asshole (who was by the likes of it also drunk) and he speeds up so I gun it and finally pass him. I didn't want to just hit the breaks once I was ahead of him so I kept up a fast speed for about 10 seconds before flashing lights pulled me over and the drunk kept driving. Angry
The cop was the biggest asshole in the small town I lived in. My brother in law who's a cop told me the douche bag proudly told other police officers about how he gave a mother of a sick kid puking heading for the hospital in her car a speeding ticket. Out of all cops to get stopped by.

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2009, 3:16 PM BST

It's not really road rage, is it? I started reading hoping that you'd had your head slammed repeatedly into the side of your car by a steroid pumped man-mountain, while all you were was mildly frustrated by a road arse.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Jacob Loves Comedy @ September 1 2009, 3:18 PM BST

Ok, sorry I wasn't savagely beaten.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2009, 3:20 PM BST

Just don't let it happen again.

*Rob dies*

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2009, 3:16 PM BST

That's better. Although I'd rather you shot him than drive passed.

In all honesty, my reaction to raging drivers is determined by the circumstances. If it's a middle-aged white guy in a nice car and a good neighborhood, I'll smile, wave, blow kisses, etc. But I just keep driving if it's a young guy who looks like he could be a gang member and/or I'm in a bad neighborhood. People who live in places like Los Angeles tend to ignore raging drivers because there's a good chance he's a gang banging drug dealer with a .45 under the seat.

Oh no, got another one! I was driving towards a roundabout and the moped came speeding round and nearly went into the car infront of me, not only did the moped not indicate it was a 16 year old chav with a big mouth.

So he started argueing and eventually started holding up traffic so I ended up telling the chav to get on his moped and f**k off and reved my engine too loud for anyone to hear anything else.

7000 revs about did it :D - felt good telling a chav to f**k off without his possy coming to take me down.

Road Rage is brilliant. In what other area of life could you get away with calling a 70 year old lady 'a f**king c**t!'?

My favourite Road Ragers are people who overtake and honk their horns at those oh so annoying funeral corteges. Who do they think they are with their stoopid hearses blocking the road?

Scum.

Quote: Paul W @ September 1 2009, 3:45 PM BST

without his posey coming to take me down.

Possy? Or was he carrying a vicious looking flower?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 1 2009, 3:51 PM BST

Possy? Or was he carrying a vicious looking flower?

Oh Yeah Whistling nnocently

I don't drive but I have been known to smack rude drivers bonnets and shout if they beep me when I am crossing the road at a crossing, especially when the green man is still lit. Don't be a cock in your cockmobile!

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 1 2009, 3:59 PM BST

I don't drive but I have been known to smack rude drivers bonnets and shout if they beep me when I am crossing the road at a crossing, especially when the green man is still lit. Don't be a cock in your cockmobile!

You'll be killed one day. Dead.

Better to be killed by car than a mutant strain of Herpes.

How is that ointment working for you BTW?

Smarmy

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