The Great Man

INT. THE GREAT MAN'S STUDY.

THE GREAT MAN, SIR RODNEY, IS SEATED TALKING TO AN INTERVIEWER, AS A FILM CREW SET UP.

INTERVIEWER
So good of you to agree to letting us film you, Sir Rodney. Especially now.

SIR RODNEY
Bit of rum request. For a retrospective of my life and work, you say? Wouldn't have thought it was needed.

INTERVIEWER
You are one of the major figures of the Twentieth Century.

SIR RODNEY
Ha! And the Twenty-First!

INTERVIEWER
Oh certainly. The opening the years.

SIR RODNEY
There's plenty of bite left in this old dog.

INTERVIEWER
You show a remarkable spirit. I am so glad we are going to be able to capture you like this.

SIR RODNEY
Good Lord! Anyone would think I was on my last legs.

INTERVIEWER
Well, yes.

SIR RODNEY
I am not about to peg out just yet.

INTERVIEWER
You mean you haven't been told?

SIR RODNEY
What?

INTERVIEWER
Oh, nothing. 

SIR RODNEY
Out with it man!

INTERVIEWER
I just assumed you had been told. Look, perhaps we could get on with the interview. You've - sorry, we've - not got long.

SIR RODNEY
What are you trying to say young man?

INTERVIEWER
Well, with a diagnosis like yours...

SIR RODNEY
What diagnosis?! I'm fit as a fiddle!

INTERVIEWER
Our doctors did seem pretty definite.

SIR RODNEY
To Hell with your blasted doctors!

INTERVIEWER
They're not usually wrong about these things.

SIR RODNEY
Aren't they by God?!

INTERVIEWER
Yes, looks like the programme is going to have to be a bit of a rush job I'm afraid.

SIR RODNEY
Why you little shit, I'll... (HE CLUTCHES HIS CHEST) Aaargh!!!

SIR RODNEY COLLAPSES DEAD.

INTERVIEWER
Bugger! Did we get any of that in the can?

END.

I think you need some laughs along the way and a stronger ending. Sir Rodney dying seems a little obvious.

Is Sir Rodney someone real? Either way, I like the dialogue you've given him.

Sir Rodney is my own creation. Yes, I maybe need to work on pacing the sketch.

Okay then, alternate ending:

SIR RODNEY
Why you little shit, I'll...

SIR RODNEY RAISES HIS CANE TO STRIKE THE INTERVIEWER.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWSROOM.

NEWREADER
...Police have confirmed that Sir Rodney is being held in custody in connection with the unlawful killing of a BBC journalist. In a special programme after the news we will be presenting a retrospective of his life and work...

END.

This could veer so many different ways. The terminally ill interviewee being unaware is a good basis to work from.

It may be difficult to resist topical issues such as Ronnie Biggs and the Lockerbie bomber, whose name conveniently escapes me.

I clearly need to do more work on this, but I would welcome any views on whether the alternate ending has any potential.

Alternative ending has potential. Sir Rodney is clearly an aloof old duffer - why not consider this character for indestructibility. I don't think he should die.

Perhaps his diagnosis was made by Harold Shipman's Locum Tenens?