Antisemitic penguin.

CHRIS AKABUSI IS PRESENTING A SHOW (AND READING HIS LINES OFF A CARD) AT LONDON ZOO WITH A ZOO KEEPER.

CHRIS
Hello and welcome to Guiness World of Records! We're at London Zoo to see the worlds most antisemitic Penguin

TO ZOOKEEPER

This is stupid, how can you measure prejudice? Never mind in a penguing.

ZOO KEEPER SILENTLY POINTS.
BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, SEVERAL RABBIS AND WOODY ALLAN ARE IN A PENGUIN ENCLOSURE KICKING A PENGUIN TOO DEATH.

ZOOKEEPER
Stupid little bastard brings it on himself.

GERMAINE GREER AND ANNIE LIEBOWITZ WALK PAST CARRYING HARPOONS.

ZOOKEEPER
I'd get a move on if you want to see the worlds most male chauvinist dolphin.

Good day at work?

Oh dear was it not much cop?

I just meant that if the first thing you write after getting off work is about kicking a penguin to death, it suggests a certain level of frustration.

I rather liked that.

That's good, I like it. Maybe a little snippet of the dolphin could be heard in the background at the end?

(DOLPHIN NOISES)(GEEZER VOICE) This isn't the kitchen you slaaaaag!

[quote name="sootyj" post="479140" date="August 17 2009, 5:49 PM BST"]CHRIS AKABUSI IS PRESENTING A SHOW (AND READING HIS LINES OFF A CARD) AT LONDON ZOO WITH A ZOO KEEPER.

CHRIS
Hello and welcome to Guiness World of Records! We're at London Zoo to see the worlds most antisemitic Penguin

TO ZOOKEEPER

This is stupid, how can you measure prejudice? Never mind in a penguing.

ZOO KEEPER SILENTLY POINTS.
BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, SEVERAL RABBIS AND WOODY ALLAN ARE IN A PENGUIN ENCLOSURE KICKING A PENGUIN TOO DEATH.

ZOOKEEPER
Stupid little bastard brings it on himself.

GERMAINE GREER AND ANNIE LIEBOWITZ WALK PAST CARRYING HARPOONS.

ZOOKEEPER
I'd get a move on if you want to see the worlds most male chauvinist dolphin.[/

A PARROT LANDS ON CHRIS'S SHOULDER IT LEANS OVER.

PARROT
Nnniiii....

CHRIS SNATCHES PARROT OFF AND STAMPS ON IT TO DEATH.

CHRIS
There I killed the world's most racist parrot what do you think of that!

ZOOKEEPER
That wasn't the world's most racist parrot.

A NINJA STABS CHRIS TO DEATH.

ZOOKEEPER
It was the parrot most likely to warn you of Ninjas.

quote]

Soots - Liked that (I prefer first version)

How the bloody Hell you'd film/stage it is beyond me, but I like it. Like AndyRoo's suggestion too but 'tis fine as it is.

And lastly...this was dire...andthat's your lot!