Aladdin's Genie

ALADDIN PICKS UP A MAGIC LAMP AND GAZES AT IT WONDER. HE POLISHES IT TO BUFF UP THE SHINE. A PUFF OF SMOKE AND A GENIE APPEARS. HE IS WEARING A PINSTRIPED SUIT AND HAS GELLED HAIR.

ALADDIN:
Wow! Who are you?

GENIE:
I am the genie of the lamp. I have been trapped for one million years and you have freed me. I am bound by the laws of my creator to grant you one wish.

ALADDIN:
Wow! Anything I want, huh? I wish for... the strength of a thousand men!

GENIE:
Ok then. First there are a few details we need to go through before proceeding with your wish. Genie Wish Foundation is a subsidiary of Evil Wizard Conglomerate and is regulated by the FSA, or Federal Sorcerers Association. We are bound by duty of care to inform you that any of our products that you choose to accept is liable to change within sixteen days of purchase and can only be refunded up to seventy percent of the initial purchase price. Do you accept these terms?

ALADDIN:
I'm sorry, what...

GENIE:
The Genie Wish Foundation is required to make a background check before proceeding with the wish to ensure the eligibility of the claimant. Name please?

ALADDIN:
Er, Aladdin. Two dees.

GENIE:
Thank you sir. Are you a home owner sir?

ALADDIN:
I live in a bin...

GENIE:
Rented accommodation. What is your net income per annum?

ALADDIN:
A few pieces of fruit and some bread. Sometimes some nuts.

GENIE:
Ok, Mr Aladdin. I've run your details through the system and we are unable to help you at this time. If you wish to refute this decision, please send a request written on gold leaf parchment with your own blood to the EWC in triplicate. Would you like me not to inform other companies to not send you no information about any future products and purchases you may or may not be not not interested in?

ALADDIN:
Er...

GENIE:
Well, that's great. Good bye sir.

THE GENIE DISAPPEARS. A HUGE HEAP OF JUNK MAIL FALLS FROM THE SKY, SQUASHING ALADDIN.

END.

I like this alot a very neat twist on an idea and funny.

But 2 thoughts; surely the genie would grant the wish then screw Aladdin?, secondly maybe the genie could moan that these requirements were new post credit crunch

But over all good stuff.

Andy, A very nice idea. But I don't think you've quite pulled this one off.

I think the wish needs to be changed, something more relevant to the questions.

I also think the ending is a little weak, as though you weren't sure how to end it.

On the postive sie the lines delivered by the Genie are very good.

Yeah, liked it a lot and with the suggested edits, it'll be top.

Nice idea. If Aladdin's response to what wish he wanted was:

ALADDIN:
Wow! Anything I want, huh? You know, all I wish for is to be safe, that's it.

At end of sketch in true cartoon style:

SAFE PLUMMETS FROM SKY AND LANDS ON ALADDIN.

GENIE:
Be careful what you wish for!

Actually, scrub that, I'm just messing around.

Thanks for all the input. See revised sketch: (PS Nigel, )

ALADDIN PICKS UP A MAGIC LAMP AND GAZES AT IT WONDER. HE POLISHES IT TO BUFF UP THE SHINE. A PUFF OF SMOKE AND A GENIE APPEARS. HE IS WEARING A PINSTRIPED SUIT AND HAS GELLED HAIR.

ALADDIN:
Wow! Who are you?

GENIE:
I am the genie of the lamp. I have been trapped for one million years and you have freed me. I am bound by the laws of my creator to grant you one wish.

ALADDIN:
Wow! Anything I want, huh? I wish for...

GENIE:
If I can stop you there. First there are a few details we need to go through before proceeding with your wish. Genie Wish Foundation is a subsidiary of the Wizard Conglomerate and is regulated by the FSA, or Federal Sorcerers Association. We are bound by duty of care to inform you that any of our products that you choose to accept is liable to change within sixteen days of purchase and can only be refunded up to seventy percent of the initial purchase price. Do you accept these terms?

ALADDIN:
I'm sorry, what...

GENIE:
The Genie Wish Foundation is required to make a background check before proceeding with the wish to ensure the eligibility of the claimant. Name please?

ALADDIN:
Er, Aladdin. Two dees.

GENIE:
Thank you sir. Are you a home owner sir?

ALADDIN:
I live in a bin...

GENIE:
Rented accommodation. What is your net income per annum?

ALADDIN:
A few pieces of fruit and some bread. Sometimes some nuts.

GENIE:
Do you currently have any other wishes outstanding with any other Genies?

ALADDIN:
No, but I do have a Debenham's store card.

GENIE:
Ok then. One more question. Do you intend to use your wish to gain supreme world domination for the forces of evil?

ALADDIN:
No. I just want to get laid.

GENIE:
That's great. One moment please.

ANOTHER PUFF OF SMOKE AND THE GENIE DISAPPEARS. HOLD MUSIC CAN BE HEARD ECHOING FROM THE LAMP. AFTER A FEW MOMENTS THE GENIE REAPPEARS.

GENIE:
Ok, Mr Aladdin. I've run your details through the system and we are unable to help you at this time. If you wish to refute this decision, please send a request written on gold leaf parchment with your own blood to the EWC in triplicate. Would you like me not to inform other companies to not send you no information about any future products and purchases you may or may not be not not interested in?

ALADDIN:
Er...

GENIE:
Well, that's great. Good bye sir.

THE GENIE DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF SMOKE. ALADDIN SITS DOWN LOOKING DEJECTED AND CHUCKS THE LAMP AWAY. HE SPOTS SOMETHING AND REACHES FOR IT. ITS AN EVIL LOOKING, BLACK LAMP. HE GRINS AND RUBS IT. OUT POPS A SMALL, WEASLY LOOKING MAN, CROOKED AND EVIL.

EVIL GENIE:
Have you been rejected wishes because of debt, bankruptcy or CCJ's? Then we have just the deal for you...

THE GENIE LAUGHS AN EVIL, BOOMING LAUGH.

END.

Good one. I am not sure the additional material added to the body of the sketch is an improvement, but I rather like the new ending (I quite liked the old one though).

Thanks very much. I added the extra material to make the new ending more appropriate. I quite like the first ending too, but I don't know how obvious it would be to a viewer the relevance of the junk mail.

Great idea.
And I did like the sketch.
I think you might be able to get more from it though.

Andy, this has Mitchell & Webb written all over it. Why don't you send them some ideas?

Thanks for the encouragement. Appreciate it. As for sending them ideas, this may sound stupid, but how do I do that?

Thanks,

Andy

Send the producer a polite email. How you find out the producer's name and email addy is up to you. It's not that hard though.

As said, needs polishing [not the lamp] and could well be up Mitchell & Webb's street.

Thanks Lee.

What particularly needs polishing Geoff?

Thanks,

Andy

A million years is too big, five thousand is more approprate.

<picky mode>There were not (m)any humans around one million years ago, so the genie would not be familiar with human fancies/weaknesses.</pickymode>