3 BBC EXECS IN A MEETING.
BBC1
It's no going well for Blue Pete is it?
BBC2
No sir it isn't.
BBC Three
It's a sad day for a flagship kids show, we're just not cool anymore.
BBC1
Well guys I have an idea back from Bluepeter's golden age in the 70s, bring back it's single most famous and iconic figure.
BBC2
John Noakes and Shep?
BBC Three
Valerie Singleton?
BBC1
No, Joey Deacon!
BBC2
That's in appalling taste and I believe's he's dead.
BBC Three
Plus it was a con. His brother wrote the book himself and spent the money on beer and whores.
BBC1
Guys there's a box with your minds in it and I'm thinking outside of it. For a year all across the land kids went "Joooeeeyyy," and "eeeuuurrrghhh." That fantastic spastic was bigger than the Bay City Rollers.
BBC2
Oh you sick f**k I'm out of here.
BBC1
Yeh where you gonna go? ITV? They're more f**ked than a sheep lost in the Welsh Assembly.
BBC2
Ok I'll stay but everyone knows the Joey Deacon thing was a stunt. They'll never fall for it again.
BBC1
What about Professor Stephen Hawkings? People actually think he's an astrophysicist, Blue Peter only convinced people that Joey could narrate a book.
BBC Three
He's a professor at Oxford University, you idiot.
BBC1
If you were a cow you'd be a Gully-ball. He's worked by some guy with a remote control and an Alevel physics text book.
BBC2
You're both a monster and an idiot.
BBC Three
Hang on he might have a point, I mean supposing Joey was around today? We could have "Get your freak on with Joey Deacon Tshirts."
BBC1
And a competition where kids could send in videos of themselves biting their shoudlers.
BBC Three
But we'd have to make sure a genuine spastic won. And Prince Charles could present them with a prize for their courage, he looks a bit special needs.
BBC2
You guys are f**king sick, this is sick. The Joey Deacon thing in the 70s was a mistake I can't believe you're diggin it up.
BBC1
What so you think people with disabilities shouldn't be on our telly? They should be seen and not heard?
BBC Three
How do petty minded little people like you get to work in television?