FX DOORBELL RINGS.
JIM ANSWERS DOOR TO TIM AND ANGIE
JIM
Hello what do you want?
TIM (THICK FAKE IRISH ACCENT)
Oi was driving through your street and I couldn't help but see you've had your patio done and...
JIM
I see and you think I've had it done by cowboys, but you can fix it strictly cash only. You bloody travellers I should warn you I'm in the local Neighbourhood watch!
TIM
I say no need for that old chap, I'm a civil engineer.
JIM
Then why are you driving around pestering decent people with comments about their patios?
TIM
Well since the old credit crunch bit I've been a bit short of the work.
ANGIE
So we took the caravan on holiday and we've been trying to drum up some work on route. I'm an interior designer, who chose those curtains? They saw you coming.
JIM
What so you're some sort of new age travellers?
TIM
Well more new middle aged travellers. We park our caravans in lay bys hang out with other people in the same boat.
ANGIE
Rosie the raw food chef, Thomas the armoatherapist. Would you like some of his lucky, organic gypsy heather oil?
TIM
No I would not! You people are a disgrace I may be a conservative, but you are not real gypsies. They're originally Hindus from India who came over in the 11th century.
JIM
Oh we've got some of them.
TIM
Oh actually I'd be interested to meet some authentic gypsies.
ANGIE
Ok I'll get the Guptas, they're lovely people. Sanjay's an accountant and Nita's a solicitor
