Husband:
Morning Darling, I'm just making a cuppa would you like one?
Wife:
Ah Mr Rogers, glad you're here, please take a seat.
Husband:
Mr Rogers? That's a bit formal isn't it darling?
Wife:
There's something we need to discuss and I think it's best if we do this by the book.
Husband:
Discuss what? What's wrong? What book?
Wife:
As you are probably aware these are difficult times, not just in the Rogers organisation but in the relationship sector as a whole.
Husband:
I don't like the sound of this…
Wife:
Whilst we appreciate your hard work in the Marriage & Bedroom department, we do feel that lately, you've just been going through the motions. You haven't been hitting any of your targets, even the ones that you have been made aware of.
Husband:
So what are you trying to say to me exactly?
Wife:
Well you have been in my Company for many years now, but we feel that you have reached as high as you can go and may benefit from a change of direction.
Husband:
Hold on! Are you trying to split up with me?
Wife:
I wouldn't call it splitting up as such, it's more a reorganisation and divergence of human resources within the Matrimonial framework.
Husband:
You are aren't you? You're splitting up with me!
Wife:
Look, it's nothing to do with anything in your section, it's more a general organisational change in my department.
Husband:
I can't believe you're giving me the old 'it's not your section it's my department' speech.
Wife:
Mr Rogers. Please this is as difficult for me as it is for you, but just not nearly as much.
Husband:
And there's nothing I can do to make you change your mind?
Wife:
It's not really my decision to make unfortunately. Market forces dictate that we streamline our operations.
Husband:
I suppose you'll be looking for a replacement.
Wife:
I'm afraid that I'm not at liberty to discuss any long term strategy goals with you at this conjuncture.
Husband:
Well, if that's the decision then I suppose there's not a lot I can do.
Wife:
I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you for all your years of service and I can confirm that we will be offering you a very generous friendship package, and if you need any references please just get in touch.
Husband:
I should be ok, I've actually had a few offers over the years, but have never taken them any further out of loyalty.
Wife:
Oh erm, well that's good I mean ahem yes good, good for you!
Husband:
Yes In fact I was recently offered a very interesting position in your Sister Company.
Wife:
WHAT?
Husband:
I think it could be just the opening I'm looking for.
Wife:
Ok that's quite enough!
Husband:
I definitely think it's an offer I'll be sleeping on in any case.
Wife:
Well, if you want to drop your standards then that's up to you, but I think you're taking a backwards step.
Husband:
I know I'll be going somewhere half the size but I'm really looking forward to trying to work my way up.
Wife:
And when exactly did you get these so called offers
Husband:
I'm not at liberty to discuss my short term strategy goals at this conjuncture.
Wife:
I hate you Paul.
Husband:
Please darling, call me Mr Rogers.
END
Very good.
