Three suicide quickies

LOCATION UNKNOWN.

CLOSE UP OF MAN'S FACE. HE IS ROLLING A NOOSE DOWN TOWARDS HIS NECK. THE MAN IS CRYING. AS HE JUMPS IT PULLS BACK TO REVEAL HE IS AN ASTRONAUT IN A ZERO GRAVITY CHAMBER. THE MAN IS FLOATING AROUND AND SHAKING HIS HEAD AS THE ROPE IS LIMP.

INT. DAY. ROOM.

FX BOISTEROUS CROWD.

CLOSE UP OF TWO HANDS ON A TABLE, HOLDING A GUN AND SPINNING A GUN BARREL. THE GUN IS LAID FLAT AND IS SPUN ON TABLE. THE GUN STOPS SPINNING. PULL BACK TO REVEAL GUN POINTING AT PIRATE. THE PIRATE TRIES TO LIFT GUN WITH HIS TWO HOOK HANDS BUT IS UNSUCCESSFUL. HE SHRUGS.

INT. DAY. GARAGE.

A MAN PARKS HIS CAR IN A GARAGE. HE ATTACHES A HOSEPIPE FROM THE EXHAUST IN TO THE CAR, ROLLING UP THE WINDOW TO TRAP THE PIPE. HE SITS IN THE CAR AND TURNS ON THE IGNITION. AS HE STARTS THE CAR THERE IS A TAP ON THE WINDOW. HE TURNS ROUND TO SEE ANOTHER MAN.

OTHER MAN:
Hosepipe ban mate, sorry.

I like the first two, but not sure on the third. Having speech in it seems to ruin it. Maybe he can be in a Prius instead?

Quote: andyroo @ August 13 2009, 8:33 AM BST

I like the first two, but not sure on the third. Having speech in it seems to ruin it. Maybe he can be in a Prius instead?

View original

How about a spoof advert for a fuel-efficient car. i.e. the man sitting there with occasional fade outs to "later", "much later" "very much later". And the occupant getting increasingly bored, fiddling with the glove box, watching an in-car DVD, etc. Ends up somehow finding a reason to live, or just forgets (it's been so long) and exits.
Then the tag line, re the car's low emissions: "The new xxxx: Our lowest emissions ever. Now with more space and air-con as standard"

Clever gags though, like them

Third one was the best for me Nigel.

Second one I wasn't keen on.

I really like the idea of the first one, but not that sure how the visuals would work cos of the helmet - unless of of course in the chamber he doesn't need the helmet - which is most likely the case.

In which case this one is the best!

Wish I had never started now....

All are fair efforts.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 13 2009, 7:22 AM BST

LOCATION UNKNOWN.

CLOSE UP OF MAN'S FACE. HE IS ROLLING A NOOSE DOWN TOWARDS HIS NECK. THE MAN IS CRYING. AS HE JUMPS IT PULLS BACK TO REVEAL HE IS AN ASTRONAUT IN A ZERO GRAVITY CHAMBER. THE MAN IS FLOATING AROUND AND SHAKING HIS HEAD AS THE ROPE IS LIMP.

View original

Random, but good idea, kind of? Needs a better context though.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 13 2009, 7:22 AM BST

INT. DAY. ROOM.

FX BOISTEROUS CROWD.

CLOSE UP OF TWO HANDS ON A TABLE, HOLDING A GUN AND SPINNING A GUN BARREL. THE GUN IS LAID FLAT AND IS SPUN ON TABLE. THE GUN STOPS SPINNING. PULL BACK TO REVEAL GUN POINTING AT PIRATE. THE PIRATE TRIES TO LIFT GUN WITH HIS TWO HOOK HANDS BUT IS UNSUCCESSFUL. HE SHRUGS.

View original

I'm sure this guy did a similar joke, but I could be wrong?

But still quite good though.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 13 2009, 7:22 AM BST

INT. DAY. GARAGE.

A MAN PARKS HIS CAR IN A GARAGE. HE ATTACHES A HOSEPIPE FROM THE EXHAUST IN TO THE CAR, ROLLING UP THE WINDOW TO TRAP THE PIPE. HE SITS IN THE CAR AND TURNS ON THE IGNITION. AS HE STARTS THE CAR THERE IS A TAP ON THE WINDOW. HE TURNS ROUND TO SEE ANOTHER MAN.

OTHER MAN:
Hosepipe ban mate, sorry.

View original

Yep, good. needs a context, seems to random to me.

Loved the first one, didn't really dig the other two.

The astronaut one is, frankly, a brilliant idea. Not sure what a "ZERO GRAVITY CHAMBER" is though. Can't he just be in a space station?

Maybe in the third one he can see a "HOSEPIPE BAN" newspaper headline and sigh in a "just my luck" kind of way.

Yep, all good but all need a polish up. First one: Kev's right -- make it a space station. Second one good, but a bit passe, no? Third one, as Leevil said, needs a context. Make it a bit longer (can you do that Nige? ) maybe with some reasons for the depression.

Rob0 -- your spoof ad is brilliant. I think you should write it. Inspired by Nige, methinks, but different enough to be your sketch, IMO.

Dan

Cheers all.

I liked the second best - the shrug makes it - and the first one as well. The third one didn't do much for me, but the the first two were fine.